Carpe Diem
by One Shot Gun Shot Loz
Summary: Severus Snape, Lily Evans, other characters, violence, death, monsters, miscarriage, Please review!
1. The Making of History-Part 1

Disclaimer:  
  
None of the characters are mine (exception of Rene) and the places aren't mine, they all belong to the esteemed Jo Rowling. I won't type another Disclaimer again, because I have said it all here, but I'll let you know if I did miss anything out!  
  
  
  
This story is being told from the point of view of a lady named Rene Montague, who has seen and experienced it all firsthand. Sometimes her viewpoint is not totally unbiased, but she had no reason to take a perspective view when she had been stabbed in the back by one of the people she really trusted.  
  
Hope you enjoy it! Let me know what you all think!  
  
The making of history-part 1  
  
The first day, what a nightmare.  
  
I think the reason that we became friends was because we were all next to each other in the line of people to be sorted. First Lily (Evans), then myself (Montague) the Severus (Snape). None of us knew anyone at Hogwarts, all being only children and neither Lily or I came from Wizarding families.  
  
Lily was a muggleborn, or if you wish to be crude, a mudblood, and had no magical experience whatever. Her parents were both muggles, and until the letter came when Lily turned 11, they had no idea that the world we live in existed, and that witchcraft and wizardry were nothing but old wives tales.  
  
I had a wizard father, but he died when I was very young, and my mother took me back to her family (the Bolovniks) in Romania, where I was brought up. I think that I had better tell you now, to avoid any shocks later, that I am half vampire. Being half vampire is a lot more complicated than being pure blood, if you'll pardon the pun, but this is the long and the short of it. I can go out in the daylight but I get burnt very quickly, I cannot be near any religious artefacts, I am abnormally strong and I have a soft spot for Blood Lollipops, though I do not drink the blood of the living. Vampires feed on the blood of the living because they have none of their own, but I have a little. I do need to visit St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladities at least every two months for a blood transfusion to keep me going.  
  
Severus was a pureblood wizard, and the Snape family was very well known and respected. They were also known, however, for turning out the most varied mix of people in one family you had ever seen. Whenever a Snape came to Hogwarts, it was anyone's guess which house they would be put into. There had never been a Snape where anyone could hazard more than a guess at where they would end up, and rumours were going around that the teachers had all placed bets on where Severus Othello Snape (II) would end up. These rumours were more or less confirmed when Professor McGonagall could be heard to gasp and Professor Dumbledore to smirk down the table at her on hearing the sorting hat shout "SLYTHERIN!".  
  
We all sat together, and we became instant friends. We were inseparable from that day onwards, until our seventh year, but when 3 friends o close were split so maliciously is not important yet. What caused this spilt is what we must establish.  
  
So, without further ado, onto the Marauders. How I will never forget Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs.... 


	2. The Making of History-Part 2

The Story so far- Part 2  
  
Also sorted that day, though not in succession as we were, were four Gryffindor boys. I remember paying particular attention to them, as they seemed to be destined to be troublemakers. They all apparently already knew one another, and were impatiently awaiting the great feast.  
  
First came Sirius Black. He did look rather similar to Severus, but with a face that looked more shifty, and less defined. He is the only one of the Marauder I ever came to know in depth, but for the moment that is not important.  
  
Next came James Potter. He was also a pureblood wizard, and of a family as well known and respected as the Snapes. The Potters, however, had never turned out a child who didn't end up in Gryffindor, and many people in the great hall that day knew that it would be a waste of time even bothering to check with the sorting hat. However, for the sake of tradition, the hat was the one who declared James a Gryffindor.  
  
Third, came Remus Lupin. I remember seeing him well, as he had a large gash on his face and two streaks of grey hair up the sides of his head. They did not look odd or out of place on him, though, as they may have done on another student. he was behaving the least immature of the four, and as I learnt later on from Severus, Moony had had to grow up very quickly, for he carried a burden many men could not bear, let alone a boy.  
  
Finally came Peter Pettigrew. He was short, tubby, and he looked clumsy and foolhardy, but all the same, there was something oddly likeable about his face. I did remind myself when the hat sorted him to Gryffindor that I must not judge a book by its cover, and indeed, if I had judged Wormtail so quickly, I would have put him in Hufflepuff without a second thought. I was always wary of him, though. He did not seem to belong, no matter what the hat had said.  
  
The four were in a lot of our classes as Slytherin and Gryffindor usually had their shared lessons together, and I was able to observe them closely over the years. My father was an Auror, and I believe I did inherit some of his ability to look closely at people and to find what makes them tick. My distrust for them all grew venomously, and I do not know why, but Severus and Lily always seemed to believe me that there was something odd about all of them. This was the beginning of the mistrust and deep-seated hatred between the Marauders and the Fates. 


	3. The Fates

The Fates .  
  
I am sure you all know how the Marauders got their names, so I will not go into much detail about it. It turned out that Remus was a werewolf, hence Moony, and his ever-loyal friends decided to become Animagi. Peter, a rat, hence Wormtail, Sirius, a black dog, hence Padfoot and James a stag, hence Prongs. The group earned the name marauder because they were always off on some childish new adventure, and always causing trouble.  
  
Now on to how we became the Fates. Firstly, there were three of us, and I must admit, even for Slytherins we must have seemed a bit gloomy and gothic. It was just a public face, a sort of defence to keep others away. We trusted no one but each other, and it seemed the easiest way to keep our life quiet, to keep other people out. We did occasionally refer to ourselves as the fates, but not by name, as I recall. The rest of the school did, and I believe it will be easier for me to open up to you if you know everything.  
  
In mythology, there were three fates. they controlled pretty much all living matter. The first was Clotho, who was in charge of creating life and matter by spinning its thread. Second was Lachesis, who was to determine the length and course of this thread, and finally Atropos. The most stubborn and malevolent of the three, who is to cut the thread. I do not know for certain whom was allotted each name, but I think this was our "running order". Lily became Lachesis, Severus became Clotho and I became Atropos. I do not know students had real incite into Severus and Lily, for looking back I can see a good deal of truth in their adoptive names, but I know that I was given my moniker. It was meant to be a secret, but rumours arose among the students about my "background", and vampires are generally portrayed in a bad light. There is no force on earth that can equal the cruelty of children, none whatsoever.  
  
We did everything together. We went looking for trouble together, we found trouble together, we tried desperately to get out of trouble together, and invariably got told of and given detention together. It was like heaven. I didn't appreciate it then, but they were the best days of my life. We always had someone to talk to, to rely on, to put such overwhelming trust in, and now all I have are memories, all Severus has is his solitude, and all Lily has is a six foot covering of earth. How I wish I had tried harder to stop her. 


	4. The Beginning

Disclaimer: I know I said that I was going to do one disclaimer, but I left some stuff out! I am going to be using some characters who not my own creations, and I will be giving full credit to their owners, and will only use them with permission. Just to let you know! (I think they will appear anytime on from Chap 5)  
  
  
  
The Beginning .  
  
I am skipping ahead to our fourth year, because I think this was where it all really began. It is a tangled tale, but I will try my best to tell it to you as it happened without making it seem too confusing.  
  
James (Prongs) was behaving oddly towards us at the beginning of the 4th year. he was being civil, and o Lily and myself, nice ! We couldn't believe it, and we just put it down to illness or hormones or both, or as Severus put it, "Because he's a weird little freak and he's trying to pull some sort of stunt. Watch 'im!"  
  
It then came to me! He had taken to sitting by Lily in alot of our shared classes, much to the protests of myself, Severus and the other Marauders.  
  
Comments from both sides were much the same  
  
"for crying out loud James/Lily, he/she is one of them!"  
  
Lily didn't notice, but I came around to thinking that young Potter had fallen for her. i went to find Severus, and when I told him, he went mad. His reaction, as I remember:  
  
"That little git! He's not good enough for her! How dare he!" He became almost hysterical, and turned away in anger  
  
"Sev! Calm down! Anyone would think you fancied Lil..." I paused "You do, don't you?"  
  
He looked up quickly. Beads of sweat were just visible on his forehead  
  
"I do what?" he snapped, all to falsely. I just looked hard at him. That was one thing we could all do. We could easily force another Fate to come clean with one scowl. (I believe Severus now uses his perfected technique on his students!)  
  
"Alright, I do." he slumped in a chair and began to sulk, fiddling subconciosly with a cushion. I couldn't help but smirk. How did I miss it?  
  
"You do what?" I asked playfully. My question was answered with due speed by a flying cushion. "Well, when did this happen, and why wasn't I told?"  
  
"ummmm.....I think at some point last year, and because I didn't want to tell you. Ok?"  
  
"Alright, but I want you to promise that in the future, if anything like that ever pops into your head, you tell me, right?" I threw the cushion back, but not as hard as it had come flying towards me.  
  
"Ok, but you have to do the same, and you can't tell Lily." He said the last line actually looking up at me, with slight desperation. "Oh, but you have one time when you don't have to tell me because I didn't tell you." he added as an afterthought.  
  
"Ummm, I think I may have used it several times over already!" This time I managed to miss the cushion, and it whistled past my ear and hit the door.  
  
"I'm joking! I will tell you from now on...and I promise I won't tell her."  
  
You may not believe me, but Severus was not the person he is now, and just beamed at me, to say thank you. It wasn't hard to smile then. 


	5. The Change of Heart

Thank you for all your feedback guys, its really helping me! Keep commenting, and let me know if I go off the rails anywhere!  
  
The Change Of Heart  
  
"Well?"  
  
It was about a month since I had found out about Sev's crush on Lily, and every day since I had been trying to get something to happen. Today, although I did not know it, was going to be the day.  
  
"Look," He replied, with evident frustration "I am trying! I'll get there in my own time! You know, I wish I had never told you sometimes!"  
  
Then, it hit me. Why hadn't I used this approach before? It was bound to work!  
  
"You know, James has been getting closer to Lily lately..." I left a lingering pause, just to make sure he got the point. "...and if you don't get a bloody move on, he might just get there first!"  
  
I have never yet seen anyone spin around so quickly, and I have never seen such a look of morbid horror on anyone's face.  
  
"He wouldn't dare!" he snapped, and then his face lost any remaining colour, and if anyone had walked in, they would have though he was a ghost. "Would he?"  
  
I just looked at him. I couldn't believe it made him that angry, and I knew if I opened my mouth, I would laugh. I knew James would be mortified, and quite possibly really hurt if Severus got there first, but my Loyalties were cast iron, and I had to make sure that was how it happened. And anyway, wouldn't it just happen the other way around if I didn't give Sev a little nudge.  
  
He finally realised that nothing was going to happen unless he told her, and he sprinted out of the room. I must admit, my first thought was how fast he was, and I was quite impressed. then my second thought was that he had just run off to find Lily, and I had to be there when he told her, if for no other reason but to keep him from messing it all up!  
  
I ran straight out of the door and followed as close as I could, all the way to the library. 


	6. Question and Answer

Question and Answer  
  
I finally caught up to him, outside the library. He was biting his fist and looking as nervous as he did when he played his first Quidditch game for Slytherin. He spun on his heel when he saw me, and looked half-thankful and half shocked.  
  
"What took you so long? I've been waiting for ages!" he wasn't even out of breath, and that annoyed me, because I could hardly speak!  
  
"Shut up and get in there! I'm coming with you though!"  
  
" I know you are! Kick me if I say or do anything stupid, but not so she can see you, OK? And if I nod, give us some space, but don't go too far aw..."  
  
"SHUT UP AND GET IN THERE!!!!!"  
  
With much protesting, I finally got him into the Library, where we immediately saw Madam Pince laying into a Slytherin boy in our year called Edward Camerson, one of the Slytherins we actually got on with. He was a bit of a class clown, and by the snippets we caught he had been setting Chocolate frogs loose in the Restricted section. This was great, because it alleviated the tension of the moment, and Sev and I both gave him a thumbs up from behind Madam Pince. He smirked, and as we walked on we could hear her shout  
  
"Don't you smile at me you wretched little worm!"  
  
Finally, near the back of the room, we saw Lily. She was sat reading a massive book with metal covering, and she looked engrossed. I looked at Severus again, and the colour had drained from his face for about the fourth time that hour.  
  
"Well go on then." I whispered, not wishing to anger Madam Pince any more.  
  
He walked over to her, apparently trying to look cool and relaxed, but he was walking like he had just had his knees broken, and if I could have thrown a book at him, I would have. I just remained and hovered by a bookshelf, just out of sight.  
  
She looked up just before he had reached the table, and I slapped my forehead as I realised she had noticed the walk.  
  
"Sev, what have you done to your legs? You're walking like a chicken."  
  
I heard this and looked at him, but his back was to me and I couldn't see his face, but I wish I could have. Edward joined me, looking rather pleased with himself.  
  
"What's up, what you watching?" he said, louder than he should have.  
  
"OUT CAMERSON! NOW!" Madam Pince heard him!  
  
"I'll tell you later, Ed!" I whispered as he ran for the door, and I returned my attention to Severus and Lily.  
  
"So, Lily, I...I was wondering if...um...if you were going to the Yule ball with anyone?"  
  
"I'm impressed, Sev!" I thought. I had been expecting much worse than that as an opening line.  
  
Lily looked as if she had been caught off her guard, and for one horrible moment I thought Potter had asked her already.  
  
"Umm, no...no I'm not."  
  
"Well I...that is, I, well, I was...uh...wondering, no, will..."  
  
I cringed, and my face I'm sure made me look like I was twisted in agony.  
  
"Someone shoot him now, so he doesn't have to carry on!" Was all I could think, he was really hashing it up.  
  
"Are you asking me to the ball, Severus?" She asked, with a cheeky smirk on her face. I silently thanked her for answering my prayers.  
  
"Well, I...umm, if...uh, no..."  
  
That was it, I had had enough.  
  
"Yes he is! Get a bloody move on, Sev!" I shouted from behind the bookshelf, and I just managed to see her say "Yes" before I got thrown out of the Library, and I couldn't help but smile to myself as I walked away from Pince's awful screeching.  
  
It all went from there. 


	7. The Ball and It's Aftermath

Notes:  
  
Just a little not to say that the character Edward Camerson is the creation of a friend of mine who wanted to be part of the story, by the name of Robert Camerson. I have based my perception of Lily on another friend of mine, Maureen O'Dwyer. I'd just like to say thanks to the pair of you, you've really helped me with this!  
  
Professor Sambora is my own creation, but if any of you out there are Bon Jovi fans, then perhaps you can understand where I got my "inspiration" from by telling you he was a great guitarist as well as Professor of Herbology!!!  
  
The Ball and its aftermath  
  
We had a great time at the ball. As soon as I got back to the common room to tell Ed, he stopped me and asked if I would like to go with him, and I said yes. I must say he made a much better job of it than Severus had, and I was very impressed that he could be a gentleman rather than a clown when he wanted to be. Fair enough, he had his fair share of fun on the night (leprechaun gold, Professor Sambora, a Boggart, don't ask) but it only made it more fun, and while he was getting told off, I had a chance to watch Lily and Severus (I was involved in this little escapade, but he went all heroic on me and took all the blame!). It was as if no one else was in the room, they didn't leave each other's sides all night, and although I felt very happy for them, I thought perhaps I would become a 3rd wheel.  
  
My fears were quickly laid to rest on that, or for a few years they were. Things changed very little between us, and I still had time with one of them on their own quite often, so it wasn't the hell it could have been. Severus and I were both on the Quidditch team, so we had practice twice a week (he was the best Chaser Slytherin has ever had, and I was a fairly average Seeker, but thankfully the other team's current Seekers were all second years and below average.) Lily and I had become sort of permanent helpers for the Herbology teacher Professor Sambora, so I saw her every Wednesday night for a few hours on her own.  
  
In classes, very little changed, except when James was around. Lily had told me in confidence that James had asked her to the Ball, but she had not given him an answer, in the hope that Severus would ask her. I laughed at the time, but perhaps this was a turning point, and where all our future problems were decided. Whenever he was within earshot or could see Severus and Lily, Sev made point of putting his arm around her very dramatically and saying something he knew would annoy James. Lily didn't seem to mind, which did strike me as a little odd, but perhaps she was afraid she'd upset Sev if she said anything; I guess we'll never know.  
  
Ed became a sort of honorary Fate, and he enjoyed more than anything to try and annoy the Marauders, but he still put friendship first, which again left me pleasantly suprised. He told me he had found out that Remus carried a bit of torch for me, but he never tried to use that against him. The explanation he gave me at the time was something like I was a person, not a product from Zonko's, and he didn't want to upset me. Looking back, it may have been a clever line, but at the time he seemed Genuine. Either way, it worked! 


	8. Quidditch practise and Buboetubers

Guys, Just a warning, this chapter sees things getting a little bit more grown up, but still think its a Pg13 story. Next chapter may not be suitable for young kids.  
  
Quidditch practise and Buboetubers  
  
A few years passed, with very little change. We won the Quidditch cup in the fourth and fifth years, and Lily and I found out that for every hour we had spent helping Professor Sambora in the greenhouses, he had been adding 10 points to Slytherin, which we were really grateful for. We couldn't work it out exactly, but we had earned the house somewhere in the region of 250 points, and we won the house cup by miles both years.  
  
Lily and Sev were still together, and so were Ed and I. James seemed to have moved on, though we still saw the occasional jealous look shoot Sev's way, and Remus came and apologised to me in the Christmas Term of the 5th year for any of his behaviour. All I had seen was the occasional glance my way, but he was really nice about it. I admit, I never told Lily or Sev, but I was beginning to soften towards the Marauders, they weren't as bad as we had thought.  
  
One day, about half way through the first Term of our 6th year, Lily came to find me after Quidditch. I assumed she was looking for Severus.  
  
"Hey Lil, he's staying on tonight with the other chasers to practise their formations, but I'll wait with you if you like, I... Are you Alright?"  
  
When I looked, she was really pale, and she looked like she had been crying. I had never known her look so rough.  
  
"No, I...I mean yeah, I'm fine, but I wanted to talk to you...meet me in Greenhouse B in five minutes?"  
  
"Umm, Yeah, I've just got to get changed. Lil, are you sure you're Ok? You look like you've seen a ghost!"  
  
"Well, I saw Peeves on the way up, but I managed to dodge him!" She chuckled at this, but it was a nervous chuckle, just trying to ease the tension. "Just meet me, Ok? I really need to talk to you."  
  
"I'll be there in two minutes, I promise. Uh, do you want me to Bring Severus?"  
  
Her eyes widened and she shook her head violently.  
  
"No! No, don't tell him I was here, just come on your own? Make sure he doesn't follow you, I don't want him there."  
  
As she left, I rushed to get changed. I couldn't think for the life of me what was wrong. She and Severus were fine as far as I knew, and I couldn't believe that they had broken up or anything like that. But at the same time, I couldn't see any other reason why she would not want him to know what was wrong so badly. I just couldn't work it out. By the time I stopped thinking, I was almost at the Greenhouse. I made my way in, and she hadn't got there yet. there was a note from Professor Sambora, asking us to pot two Buboetubers, and that we would find the earmuffs in the top drawer of his desk. I did it while I waited, and as I put the earmuffs back and began to scribble a note to him, Lily appeared from around the corner, and this time, she was crying. 


	9. Lily's Confession

This one's a shocker, guys! Bits of unpleasant imagery so try not to think about it too much! Let me know what you all think, and a big round of applause to my reviewers! You're keeping me going guys!  
  
  
  
Lily's confession  
  
  
  
She came in and looked around, and when she saw me she ran straight for me and threw her arms around me, crying hysterically. I hugged her and told her it was OK; though I didn't know what was wrong. I finally calmed her down enough for her to be able to talk to me, and we went and sat down on the benches near the back of the Greenhouse.  
  
"Ren, did you do the Buboetubers? We have to get them done by..."  
  
"Lil, I've done them, and even if I hadn't, I don't think you would be crying over some undone Buboetubers. What's the matter? Has Severus upset you?"  
  
She had managed to stop sobbing, but occasionally a silent tear fell down her face. I didn't know her to cry often, she was a tough girl. Suddenly, she burst into hysterics again and buried her head in her hands. I caught snippets of what she was trying to say through her violent sobs.  
  
"Ren, I don't know what to do...I, I'm in big trouble and... its all too much!"  
  
With that she slumped off the bench, and sat in the corner, hugging her lags up to her body and crying into her knees. I knelt beside her and put my arm around her shoulders.  
  
"Lily, you have to tell me what's wrong, I can't help if you don't."  
  
I caught an almost incoherent murmur from her that sounded like "No one can help me" but I wasn't really getting anywhere.  
  
"Lily," I barked. I had to snap her out of this. "Listen to me. Tell me what's wrong or I'll go and get Severus." I felt awful for saying it, and I never ever would have unless I thought if I didn't do something drastic I would get no sense from her.  
  
"No! No, please don't! I'll tell you!" Her head jerked up and she wiped her eyes on her sleeve. I fumbled around in my pockets and found a hankie, and passed it to her.  
  
"Thanks. I...I don't really know how to tell you, its, well, a bit difficult."  
  
"Lily, you are one of my best friends. You can tell me anything, you know that as well as I do."  
  
"But...but this is different!"  
  
"I don't care. You asked me to hurry up here and you've never looked so stressed in all your life. You want to tell me, and prolonging it will only make whatever it is harder. I'm prepared, Lil, you can tell me anything. Just blurt it out, and then it'll be over with."  
  
I looked hopefully at her. I thought I was totally prepared for whatever she could possibly say, but as soon as she said it, you could have knocked me down with a feather.  
  
She looked up, tears welling in her eyes. It was that horrible helpless puppy look, and it scared me white. Lily never looked helpless.  
  
"I...I'm pregnant." 


	10. Stupid Questions

To all those reading this from the HarryPotter.com Slytherin common room, Severussnapeprof is going to kill me for this!  
  
  
  
I did a sort of double take. I couldn't believe what I had just heard.  
  
"What?" I said, with a little bit more sharpness than was intended.  
  
"Don't make me say it again, please."  
  
She had knocked me for six. I fell back onto the floor from my kneeling position and stared at Lil, who was now crying into her legs again. I half hoped I would wake up soon, or that she would tell me it had been a really cruel joke, but then it dawned on me I was very much still awake, and that she would NEVER joke about anything this serious.  
  
"Lil, are you sure? I mean, you're 100% certain, right?"  
  
She looked up again, wearing the puppy dog face again.  
  
"110% certain. What am I going to do, Ren? Please help me."  
  
I couldn't. For the first time in my life that Lily had come to me for help with something, I didn't have a clue what to do with her. I think I was almost in shock as much as she was, and then, I said the stupidest thing I could have, and as soon as the words were out of my mouth, I could have kicked myself.  
  
"Whose is it?"  
  
She just looked at me through her red raw eyes, with a really quite nasty expression that said "Who the hell do you think?"  
  
"Sorry. Stupid question."  
  
"Yeah! I agree!"  
  
"I know but I kind of don't know what to say! I haven't really been in this situation before. Umm... Can I just please ask a few more stupid questions? Just to put my mind at ease...well, more at ease than it now."  
  
"Yes, alright. I can't see anything better to do about it."  
  
"You are certain, and I mean there is no tiny little possibility in the whole wide world that it could be someone else's?"  
  
"Yes. Dead certain."  
  
"OK, umm... any ideas how far gone you are?"  
  
"Not a clue. Can't even make a guess."  
  
"Have you told anyone else? Severus?"  
  
"NO! That's the last thing I want to do!"  
  
"So you aren't going to keep it then?"  
  
"Are you mad? I'm not going to kill it! That's barbaric!"  
  
"Well I hate to tell you this, Lil, but people are going to notice! Especially Severus. Have you been to Madam Pomfrey?"  
  
"No...I can't tell a teacher."  
  
"Like I said, people are going to notice at some point, and anyway, Madam Pomfrey doesn't ask many questions, and she keeps everyone's details confidential. She may not be that nice, but we can trust her!"  
  
There was silence for what must have been a few minutes, but seemed like an eternity. Neither of us had a clue about what could possibly be done, and as she had no clue when this happened, then we didn't know how much time we had to find a solution.  
  
She looked up, and I swear that puppy face was getting worse.  
  
"I'm screwed, aren't I?" Her voice now sounded helpless too, and if I hadn't been holding myself together for her, then I would have burst into tears of frustration myself.  
  
"Well, its pretty obvious you have been!"  
  
We both laughed at this. It cleared the air, and some of the tension was lifted, but the big problem was still there. 


	11. The Potions Genius and the Sympathetic S...

This is a short chapter, but it didn't really belong anywhere but on its own and it has to be said.  
  
The Potions Genius and the Sympathetic Smile  
  
It was getting dark, and if we didn't get a move on we would get caught on our way back up to the castle, and no matter how appalling your herbology was, you would have either potted the two Buboetubers or given up by now. Lily dried her eyes and we walked back up to the tower in silence. We arrived at the portrait, and I mumbled "Salazar", and it flung itself open. We walked in, and there was only one person in the common room, the one we really could have done without seeing.  
  
"Hey guys!" Severus said as he jumped up from his chair, where he had been reading a gargantuant Potions book. Even back then he was a Potions genius, and he could trounce the teachers on any potion at all by the time he was in the third year, and by the time he was in the fifth, he was inventing his own.  
  
"Where have you been? " he kissed Lily on the cheek, and noticed how pale she was.  
  
"Lils, are you alright? You're paler than me!"  
  
She forced a small unconvincing chuckle, but just mumbled something about being ill, and walked off up the stairs to our Dormitory.  
  
"What's up, Ren? She's looking rough." Severus asked, and he was very suspicious. He knew as well as I did that she was a tough girl, and that she was hardly ever ill.  
  
I couldn't betray Lily's trust and tell him, but I couldn't betray his and lie to him. I just looked at him with a "Not now, this is hard and I can't tell you." grimace, and muttered  
  
"I'll look after her. She's just not feeling herself tonight."  
  
I gave him a sympathetic smile and began to climb the stairs after Lily, leaving him there looking puzzled. I turned just before he would have been out of sight, and he shrugged to himself and walked over to pick up his book and went up the opposite stairs.  
  
It may come as no surprise to you, but I got no sleep that night. Even if I was not half vampire and more inclined to be awake at night, nothing would have let me close my eyes after that. I felt guilty about not being able to help Lily and about not being able to tell Severus, and it hurt so much. I knew that was nothing to what Lily was going through, and this only made me feel even worse about it all. before I knew it, it was time to get up and dressed, and I forced it all to the back of my mind before going down to breakfast 


	12. Time Running out

I'm going to be away tomorrow guys, but I promise I will put more up on Sunday! I'm sorry about yesterday's posting being late as well, but I went to visit some friends. Let me know how you think the story is going so far!  
  
Time Running Out  
  
About three weeks later, we still had no clue what to do about this, and Severus and Ed were getting really suspicious of Lily and I. They kept trying to catch me off my guard, but I managed to make them feel really guilty by telling them something about one of Lily's relatives dying. I don't think they believed me after a while, but I managed to keep them from asking anymore by giving them my patented "Sit down and shut up" Glare.  
  
Lily was getting more and more distraught, and just to make things worse, she was starting to show. She was getting changed for bed one night, and I was lying on my bed reading with the curtains pulled, when I heard her start to cry again. I stuck my head through the curtains, and she was lying at the end of her bed sobbing violently. When I asked her what was wrong, she stood up, and looked down at her usually flat stomach. Ok, so her pyjamas were quite tight, but it was easily seen that there was a bump developing.  
  
"Lily, you have to tell someone! You can't just explain it away! Please, its the first day of the Christmas Holidays tomorrow, so there won't be so many people here, and probably no one in the hospital wing. Promise you'll come with me?"  
  
She looked at me, and then slumped back onto her bed.  
  
"Give me a few more days, Ren. I have to think how I'm going to tell them."  
  
"Them?"  
  
"If Madam Pomfrey knows, then I think I at least owe it to Sev to tell him, don't I?"  
  
I had to agree. It was as much his baby as it was hers, and he did have a right to know. She would need time to think how to put it to them both, as it was a very delicate situation.  
  
"Yeah, that sounds sensible. Do you want me to be there when you tell either of them?"  
  
"Of course! Both of them! In a way, I wish I was you now, you've always had a way of explaining things the best way possible."  
  
"That comes from a lifetime of having to break the news to people that I am half vampire, without sending them running away screaming. Do you remember when I told you two?"  
  
She rolled her eyes up into her head, as if she was searching it for the memory. I could remember every detail, and exactly how they had both reacted, but I never had such a great compliment paid to me than Lily's answer.  
  
"Just, but it wasn't important. Well, not to me, anyway."  
  
I knew as soon as she said that that I had a true friend in her. To not care about one of your closest friends being half magical monster that were known to have killed millions because you could trust them takes a lot of courage and a huge lack of prejudice. The lack of prejudice I find very few people have.  
  
  
  
"Well, you know if you need some help with how to tell them, then you know I'm always here for you."  
  
She looked up and smiled, and muttered a slightly more cheerful goodnight. I fell back down onto the huge feather pillows and stared at the canopy on top of the four-poster, and I cast my mind back to my own little confession. 


	13. My Most Precious Memory

I'm doubling back here to when Rene told them she was a Vampire in their third year. I did arrange it originally so it went before I skipped to teh 6th year, but it just didn't read right or seem relevant, so it goes here, where I hope it reads well and where it is relevant.  
  
My Most Precious Memory  
  
I told them at the beginning of our third year, and I will never forget the way they reacted. I had suffered a similar conflict to what Lily was facing now, and I had been trying to pluck up the courage to tell them since the same time the year before. It just got worse and worse until I had to tell them, and after rehearsal after rehearsal I just thought that it was nice that I had had two great friends for two great years, but that all had to come to an end now. I had never come across anyone who had not reacted very badly to what I had told them , with the only exception being Dumbledore.  
  
I remember their faces like it was yesterday. They just stared at me for a few seconds, and the Severus just said  
  
"Really? Wow. Can we carry on with our Chess game from yesterday?"  
  
Lily chuckled and said something like she always knew that there was something funny about me, and went back to reading her book. I sat down opposite Severus, who was now rearranging the Chessborad to how it had been when we left off the previous evening. I was dumbstruck, I just couldn't believe that there were people in the world who didn't care what I was, just who I was.  
  
"You're both mad. Why don't you care?"  
  
"'coz its not important to us, Ren. We know we can trust you, and who gives a damn if you're half vampire?" Lily looked at me as if it should be taken for granted that everyone would find it in their natures not to care.  
  
"Everyone else!"  
  
"Well, like she said, not us! Its not important! All that's important to me at the moment is I get myself out of this nasty mess with your queen and your rook!"  
  
I can never look back and not laugh anymore. It is my most precious memory. 


	14. The Forgotten Ball

We're back in the sixth year, guys. I hope that this isn't getting too confusing, but this is the first ever fan fiction I have written, and I still have a lot to learn!  
  
The Forgotten Ball  
  
  
  
The few days passed quickly, and before we knew it, it was Christmas Eve. I had completely forgotten about the Yule ball the next day until Edward came and found me and promised me that he was not going to pull any practical jokes there, and I think I offended him a bit when I asked him what he was on about. I undid that by telling him that I'd had a lot on my mind what with Lily grieving for this "ex-relative" I had invented, and that I was very grateful for him promising no funny business while at the ball.  
  
I kissed him on the cheek and asked him to go and get me a sandwich from the kitchens, which I knew would keep him occupied for at least an hour. He loved to talk to the house elves, and find out about all the secrets of Hogwarts. They were his main source of information, and I doubted that he would remember the sandwich at all.  
  
I rushed up the stairs to find Lily, who was reading in the dorm. She had taken to being a recluse over the last few weeks, and was seldom seen by anyone but myself.  
  
"LIL! We forgot about the Yule Ball!"  
  
She looked up from her book, and as soon as she realised that I had a point, came up with the worst possible solution.  
  
"I'm not going. Problem Solved."  
  
"Lil, if you don't go, a lot of people will be suspicious. You've been acting off for about a month, and its getting hard to convince people that you're this upset about a distant relative, you have to go!"  
  
She looked at me, and then seemed to be thinking it over for a few minutes.  
  
"You're right, but what will I wear?"  
  
For a moment I couldn't believe what I had just heard. I thought with all that was resting on her acting normally and what we had both gone through in the past two months, all she cared about was what she was going to wear? She obviously realised what I was thinking, and quickly put me right.  
  
"No, I mean, I don't have anything that will hide it very well, it's getting more noticeable every day!"  
  
I instantly felt awful for daring to think that she would be so shallow. She did have a good point, and something had to be done quickly. 


	15. Alterations

Warning: This is going to get a bit more dramatic from now on guys, and it probably will get darker with every chapter.  
  
This chapter is short and may seem pointless, but it is a metaphor in disguise.  
  
There is method to my madness, or madness to my method. I forget which!  
  
  
  
Alterations  
  
  
  
Lily was originally going to wear a set of sky-blue satin robes and a royal-blue cloak on top. The only problem being that Satin does not hide "imperfections" well. We decided, after many attempts that it simply wasn't possible for us to alter it so it looked natural and indeed, unaltered. I performed a charm on it to put it back the way it was, and placed it onto a dress model Lily had conjured up for us too use.  
  
"Right. What are we going to do now?" Lily moaned, as she slumped back down onto her bed.  
  
I perched on the end of the bed and put my arm around one of the old mahogany posts. It was a beautiful wood; so dark it was almost black. Black?  
  
"Lil, we're saved!"  
  
I rushed to my chest on the other side of the room and pulled out a pair of Romanian Dress Robes that I kept for when I went on holiday to visit my family. They were mostly black, and made of beautiful Velveteen material that was really hard to get hold of. There was also a beautiful embroidered pattern along the torso of the dress part, and along the hems of the matching cloak.  
  
"Stand up!" I shouted almost hysterically. I was so happy that a small solution could be found to make life a bit easier.  
  
I clicked my fingers and the robes held themselves up to Lily, and they would hide the bump perfectly. I did need to alter them a bit, as I was shade taller and thinner than Lily, but when they were done and she tried them on, she looked great. Why had I not thought of it before?  
  
She stood up and admired herself in the mirror. She was awe struck by the thing and how great it looked on her.  
  
"Thank you, Ren, it's beautiful"  
  
I smiled, but as I did, I couldn't help but feel a little upset. I had been planning to wear it myself, but now it looked as though I was going to have to abandon my traditional black for Blue Satin. 


	16. It all began so well

It All Began So Well  
  
  
  
Christmas day went fine, and everyone was happy for a change, even Lily and myself. We had promised one another that for Christmas day, we would try our best to forget what was going on, and just have a nice day. We all agreed to open our presents from each other in the common room, and being the only four (The Fates + Ed) 6th year Slytherins who stayed, we had the common room to ourselves. I think that was because the few younger children that did stay were quite fearful of us, and chose to stay in their Dormitories.  
  
Ed typically came bounding down the stairs at top speed, and hurdle- jumped right over and into one of the armchairs, which I thought was very impressive as he had an armful of presents. Severus ambled down as usual; not looking particularly bothered about the whole affair. He never did seem to get that excited about Christmas, but at least he actually enjoyed it back then.  
  
Ed eagerly dished out the presents he had bought for everyone, and we knew we had better open them with caution. However, he had been entirely sensible, and it seemed he had grown up in the past year. His presents were entirely sensible, and I was almost choked by what he bought me. He gave Severus a set of extra strength pewter potion vials that could read the exact potency of any liquid, and he bought Lily limited edition book on Levitation charms (Charms was her favourite subject).  
  
He gave me a beautiful silver necklace, with a spider's web pendant at the bottom. I Thought it was just a pretty necklace at first, but on closer inspection a bit later, I found he had had an inscription etched into the strands of the web. Forgive me, but I would rather not share it with you. He and I will always be the only people that know what it said.  
  
Lily had bought me a box of blood lollipops and as a joke an English phrase book. My English was very good, even then, but as Romanian was my first language, I sometimes made silly mistakes or would say something in Romanian and not notice. This was a source of great amusement to the three of them, and I very often did not realise what I had done. She bought Ed a 10 galleon gift voucher for Zonko's, which he was delighted with, and Severus a  
  
Funny-looking black glass ball.  
  
"I'm not quite sure what it does, but the guy in the shop said it reacts to different potions, and that if you know how to make complex ones, it can be really good fun!"  
  
He looked at it curiously, and was eventually persuaded to put it down. I've no doubt he had every intention of taking it down to the Potions lab that very day and seeing what it did.  
  
Severus had bought Ed a book on how to play practical jokes and not get the blame, for which I was very grateful.  
  
"You two shouldn't be encouraging him! But at least with that book I will not have to spend all my spare time getting him out of trouble!"  
  
Ed shot me a sly smirk, and I had a feeling that I still would be getting him out of trouble!  
  
Severus had bought Lily a Brooch that changed colour to match whatever you were wearing, which was a great move. She had wanted one for ages, and she was very much absorbed with it all morning. He had bought me a book on Apparaton because I would be taking my test some time during the next term (In Romania, the age for the test was 16, not 18, and as I was a Romanian citizen, I would be allowed to apparate in Britain) and some Blood flavoured boiled sweets that he knew I loved.  
  
I had bought Lily a pair of earrings that matched the brooch from Severus. He had seen them both on a trip to Hogsmead, and suggested that we got her on half of the set each. I had bought Severus himself a small Romanian book on Dark Potions and their Properties. I also got him a voucher for the ingredient shop in Hogsmead, though I forget the name of it. For Ed, and I thought that this was very strange, I had bought him a ring, and on it was the same pattern of a spider's web. He loved it, and from then on never took it off. I believe he left it to his son, Robert, though I am not sure.  
  
  
  
After we had all swapped presents and been down for the feast, we returned to our rooms. Ed and Severus were intrigued by the black glass ball, and went to find out what it did, while Lily and I returned to our rooms. Lily seemed quite pale after lunch, but said it was nothing.  
  
"Don't worry, Rene. My eyes were bigger than my stomach, that's all. I think I will have a little rest before the ball. Wake me in an hour to get ready?"  
  
She didn't wait for an answer, and it was probably just as well she didn't. I had been watching her at lunch, and she had eaten hardly anything. I made a mental note to keep a close eye on her during the Ball, just in case. 


	17. Dumbledore's Suspicions

Sorry about the last two chapters, guys. I have just read them and I think they were ruddy awful! I promise I will try and write a little better from now on!  
  
I would just like to say thank you to the writers of a "Sabrina: The teenage Witch" book for the idea of the hairsnake!  
  
The band, "Hecate's Henchpeople" are my own creation, though, and their music is a bit like that of Bon Jovi, but with a magical twist to it (if you can think of any spoof Bon Jovi song titles, let me know!!!)  
  
  
  
Dumbledore's Suspicions  
  
  
  
We had all agreed to meet in the common room at 5:45 to go down to the ball. Lily was wearing her Brooch and earrings, and I my necklace, and a silver Hairsnake that changes your hairstyle about once every ten minutes. I thought that it would have matched the robes I was going to wear perfectly, but it looked lovely against the blue satin too. Lily was being unusually quiet, but I decided to think little of it, as I expected she was nervous that someone, i.e. Severus, would notice.  
  
We descended the common room stairs, five minutes late ("We can't be on time! We're never on time! Ren, He'll suspect something!") and were escorted on the arms of our gentlemen to the Great Hall. It was beautifully decorated, as usual, and had long green and silver banners around the hall, as Slytherin were way ahead in the house cup stakes and we had won all our Quidditch matches so far within 3 minutes. Many people had already arrived, and though the ball had not officially started, the party was well underway.  
  
There was music being played by "Hecate's Henchpeople", and everyone was dancing. We all joined in and danced non stop for about half an hour. The boys went off to get Drinks, while Lily and I sat down together at the side of the hall, and watched the madness.  
  
"I Love the Yule Ball!! having fun, Lil?"  
  
I got no reply, she just sat there, pale and silent.  
  
"Lil, are you alright? Tell me honestly."  
  
"What? Oh, yeah, I'm fine just tired, and I gave myself really bad indigestion earlier, but I'll live!!"  
  
I think that it was then that I first realised that something was wrong. Lily was always honest when felt ill, and if she was as ill as she looked and acted then, Yule Ball or not, she would have back in bed. I decided that there was nothing I could do, because as much as anything, she was stubborn. I just kept a close eye on her. When Severus and Ed came back with drinks, our energy was recovered and we downed them quickly eager to get back onto the dance floor. We could have danced all night, and even Lily was laughing and smiling, as if all her worries were not there anymore.  
  
Ed and I went to sit down a song before Severus and Lily, and Dumbledore came over to talk to me. He ushered me out of the Ball, and into an empty Classroom. He looked friendly, yet at the same time, very, very solemn.  
  
"Now, Miss Montague, I do not wish to keep you from the Ball so I will get to the point. I have a question to ask you, and it MUST be answered truthfully."  
  
I panicked. I could think of nothing to do. This was the man who had given me a chance, who had made it possible for me to come to Hogwarts, and I was going to have to make a split second decision whether to tell him the truth and betray my best friend or lie to him. There could be nothing else. he must know.  
  
"This concerns a dear friend of yours, and in no small way. I trust you, and I expect your answer will be truthful, and I will not ask again."  
  
"Oh Jesus...here it comes..." I thought to myself. My eyes would bleach if I weren't careful. (A vampire's eyes go entirely white when they are in a heightened state of Panic or become very, very angry  
  
"Was Mr Edward Camerson involved in the explosion in the Forbidden Forests earlier today? At about 9am?"  
  
How I didn't breathe an audible sigh of relief I don't know, and never will.  
  
"No, he wouldn't do anything like that, Professor. His pranks are NEVER that big and serious. And he was with us all this morning anyway."  
  
"Us?" He enquired  
  
"Severus Snape, Lily Potter and myself, Sir. We all opened our presents together in the Common Room."  
  
He smiled his warm and trusting smile.  
  
"Thank you, Miss Montague. I think we should get back to the Ball, we are missing all the fun."  
  
He exited the room just before me, and as he walked out the door, he turned back, with a look of afterthought on his face.  
  
"Oh, and thank you very much for my socks! A Most novel idea!"  
  
I always got him a present for Christmas. I owed him so much; it was the least I could do. I saw a pair of socks in Hogsmead that were like gloves, in that they had separate Toe's, like gloves have separate fingers. I just had to get them, because they were as madcap as Dumbledore himself! 


	18. The Worst Day of Our Lives

Warning- possibly slightly disturbing chapter, but I advise you do not skip it, as it is crucial.  
  
My Thanks to another fan Fiction author (and she is a lot better than myself) Simone Magus for Madam Hooch's first name (Hana). I have made up Professor Sprout's name (Sara) myself, as I did with Professor Snape's middle name in one of the first chapters (Othello - look at his enitials).  
  
The Worst Day of Our Lives  
  
  
  
I went back into the Great Hall, and found Ed straight away. He assured me that he had nothing to do with it, and I believed him. To play a prank was one thing, but an act of Wanton destruction was another, and I believed him the instant he said that he had nothing to do with it.  
  
I then cast my eyes to the Marauders. They had arrived late, but if they had been anything else then we would have worried. Remus was with a Ravenclaw girl called Hana Hooch, a great Quidditch player, and if my memory serves me right, she played Seeker. Peter was with a Hufflepuff girl called Sara Sprout, who I knew because she was occasionally in the Greenhouses when Lily and I went to Help Professor Sambora. Sirius, being his typical self, had some blonde bimbo on his arm, who's name was something like Ludina Bagman, who's brother played Quidditch for England, I believe. James was alone, and I felt quite sorry for him. He could have got a date very easily, but I take it he was not yet over Lily.  
  
Lily. Where was she? Ed got up, after I agreed to let him have a dance with Hana hooch. I looked out over the dance floor, and she was making her way over to us, just a little ahead of Severus. She looked very pale, and her face was not the emanation of Happiness that it had been minutes ago. Severus went to get drinks, and as she staggered towards us, I stood up and had to grab her by the arm to support her.  
  
"Lily, what's wrong?"  
  
Her eyes rolled in her head, and her face showed she was all of a sudden in agony.  
  
"Get me out of here, Ren." She moaned, and thankfully, we had been sitting on the side of the hall nearest the door. I managed to catch Ed's eye on our way out, but I couldn't see Severus.  
  
Lily managed to get out into the hall, but then all her weight collapsed into my arms. I picked her up, and more or less as soon a she was in my arms she passed out. Ed managed to get out of the Hall just as I had turned to take her to the medical wing. Once I assured him I was capable of carrying her, I couldn't think what on earth to do.  
  
"Look, this is serious, Ed. Go and find Sev, and the pair of you get up to the hospital wing as fast as you can."  
  
He nodded and dashed back into the hall, and I off in the other direction. I think that I was talking to her as I ran, but I will never be sure. My mind was elsewhere. I had no clue what I was going to tell anyone. Madam Pomfrey, Severus, Dumbledore...all would have to know if something was very wrong.  
  
I finally reached the Hospital wing, and not being able to open the door with Lily in my arms, I decided to almost kick it down in my desperation. Madam Pomfrey came to the door bawling about people being too impatient and not having any consideration, but as soon as she opened the door and saw Lily's face, she went whiter than the Bloody Baron. 


	19. Losing It

A/N: Still disturbing, and it's gonna get worse.  
  
  
  
Losing it  
  
  
  
I pushed past Madam Pomfrey, and placed Lily as gently as I could on the nearest bed. She had broken out in a cold sweat and was shaking like a thing possessed. Madam Pomfrey looked at her in amazement, and then composed herself and looked at me.  
  
"What happened to her?"  
  
I just stood there. She had to be told, but how? I must have looked like a startled fish, just gaping at her as if she were mad.  
  
"Look, I know you all get into a lot of trouble around this place, but this girl is in a bad way here, so what in damnation happened to her?"  
  
"I don't know, she just collapsed in the entrance hall...Sh-she hadn't been feeling well all day, and she... she's, well, she thought she was...pregnant..."  
  
Now it was her turn to look like a startled fish. In all her years at Hogwarts (and even back then she'd been there a long time) and all the weird and shocking magical afflictions she'd seen, this was obviously one she'd not heard before.  
  
She once again regained her wits, and began fetching various things from near and around her desk.  
  
"Pull the screens around the bed, and pass me that." She pointed at what I recognised as a muggle stethoscope. I passed it over, and as she worked she began asking questions. Questions I found very hard to answer.  
  
"Does anyone know about this?"  
  
"No, just me...and her, obviously."  
  
She just looked up at me with a similar look to the one I was given by lily for asking my stupid questions.  
  
"Look! I'm sorry, but I am NOT used to this kind of situation! She's my best friend, and I am very bloody worried! Its not like I have had to do this before, you know! Forgive me the odd stupid comment, but I would like to see YOU cope with this any better at 16!"  
  
I had gone into full-blown hysteria. I fully expected my eyes had bleached, my skin had become blotchy and my canine teeth were going to grow. I have never known why, but when I panic or get angry, the vampire in me shines through. I guess that it was some sort of defence system, and my God, it worked.  
  
"I'm sorry! Alright, how far along was she?"  
  
"She didn't know. The closest guess I can give you is between 2 ½ and 3 ½ months."  
  
"Right. From the look of her 3 months is about right, and..."  
  
For the first time she looked up from her work at me, and I swear she had a tear in her eye.  
  
"And I think...I think that she will lose the baby at the very least."  
  
I just closed my eyes, and time stood still. I will never forget how cold and lonely I felt as soon as she said that. A shiver shot down my spine as I realised that I may have spoken to a conscious Lily for the last time. I would have stayed there for longer but... 


	20. The Painful Truth

A/N: Stay with me, I know this may seem dragged out, but it's the most important part. Still disturbing, BTW. Many Thanks to Elizabeth Dakins (Polaris) for the idea of Silver tears. I hope you don't mind, but I HAD to get some essence of Polaris in here somewhere!  
  
Apologies for the blasphemy, but I think it would have been the first reaction.  
  
  
  
The Painful Truth  
  
  
  
I heard two sets of rapid footsteps thundering our way. I knew instantly who it was, and rushed out from behind the curtains to catch them.  
  
They were both out of breath, and red in the face.  
  
"Where is she? Ren, what happened? Let me see her! Let me pas...JESUS CHRIST!"  
  
I was thankful for my strength then, more than I ever have been. Severus could quite easily have gotten past me had I had run-of-the-mill power in my arms.  
  
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Ed demanded, his face awash with worry.  
  
He and Severus had never seen me like this, but they knew it could happen, and why. If I had been in their position it would have stopped me in my tracks too. I just swallowed hard, and decided that I had to tell him on his own.  
  
"Ed, I'll tell you now, but I need you to go and get Dumbledore. Be as discreet as you can, and get him up here now. Just tell him it is very serious."  
  
He never questioned, and ran down to the hall at the speed of light. Severus looked pleadingly at me, and the first thing I could think to do was throw my arms around him. His voice softened straight away; and he halted his attempts to get past me.  
  
"Ren, what is it? Please, I..."  
  
I stepped back from him, and looked straight into his eyes. I was about to bring his world crashing down around him, and it hurt me so much.  
  
I wiped a silver tear from my eye, and began to tell him.  
  
"Severus, I...I don't know how I'm meant to tell you this. I don't want to seem insensitive, but I am going to have to be blunt; we don't have much time... Lily and I have been keeping...keeping something we shouldn't have from you, and..."  
  
I couldn't do it. I never thought that I would be the one to tell him. It was tearing me apart to have to say it.  
  
Thank God for Severus' common sense. He placed his hands firmly on my shoulders, and tried to snap me out of it.  
  
"Rene, what happened? Just tell me. It'll only be harder on us both the longer you wait!"  
  
It worked. Just like it had with lily, it worked.  
  
"Lil-Lily's pregnant."  
  
There was a long pause. He just looked at me in disbelief, and then had to steady himself against the wall. He just stared into space, as if I weren't there.  
  
"P-Pregnant?"  
  
"Severus, I'm so sorry...We should have told you sooner, but she couldn't! Believe me she tried, but it..."  
  
He looked back at me, with a sharpness to his gaze that any students of Hogwarts who have ever crossed their potions master will know.  
  
"Woah, hang on...Sooner? Just how long have you known?"  
  
"Ummm, Severus, please, she was going to tell you!"  
  
"I can't believe you. Y-you'd hide something like this for, what, a month? Two? THREE?"  
  
"Well about that, but listen to me! That doesn't matter, what does is..."  
  
"It doesn't matter? IT DOESN'T MATTER?"  
  
"Severus, please, Listen!"  
  
"Don't you DARE tell me to listen to you! You have No Right to tell me what to do, NO RIGHT!"  
  
He had now drawn himself up to his full height, and his hands were clenched so hard is knuckles were as white as my eyes.  
  
"SHUT UP! JUST FOR ONE MINUTE SHUT UP AND LET ME TALK! WHAT MATTERS IS THAT LILY IS IN THERE IN AGONY, AND THAT SHE HAS AS GOOD AS LOST THE BABY, AND WE MAY BE LOSING HER TOO!"  
  
And that was the most painful, most unforgettable moment I have lived through. I watched the bottom fall out of his world. The anger drained from his face like water down a drainpipe. He just slumped against the wall and fell onto his knees, staring at the floor. I had just hurt one of the people I most cared about beyond what any stranger was capable of. 


	21. Sex, Lies and a Changed Name

A/N: Thank you very much for all your reviews, guys! A few people don't like the short chapters, but it's the only way I can really write. However, as I owe you a lot for your nice reviews, I will do an abridged version once "No Angels" and the as yet unnamed sequel or second half of the story are both finished, with no spelling errors, corrected Grammar and some chapters rolled into one. I hope this suit you all!  
  
I must also apologise for the mistake in chapter 17, "Dumbledore's suspicions" where I wrote Lily Potter instead of Lily Evans. Oops! Can you forgive me? (It will be corrected in the abridged version!)  
  
  
  
Sex, Lies and a Changed Name  
  
  
  
I didn't know what to do, what to say or how to act. I just sat silently next to Severus and lay my head on his shoulder. We just sat there for what seemed like a thousand infinities, until Dumbledore and Ed came into sight. We both stood up, and nearly fell back down at what I presume was the same thought. Who and How to tell Dumbledore.  
  
He answered our question immediately.  
  
"I believe that Miss Evans is seriously unwell?" he said in a grave, yet reassuring tone  
  
We both nodded silently.  
  
"Then I will wait here. I think she needs help more than I need to know what's wrong."  
  
We both smiled in gratitude, and rushed into the hospital wing.  
  
Madam Pomfrey made a huge fuss about Severus and Ed coming in, and we just about managed to convince her to let Severus stay, on account of his being the father. Ed had no hope, so he went to wait outside with Dumbledore. She still wouldn't let Severus behind the screen, where Lily was now drifting in and out of consciousness. In the end, he got so riled up that she forced a mild, short-term sedative that would last about half an hour down his throat. If anything happened and we needed to wake him up to say his goodbyes, it was easily done with an "ennervate" spell.  
  
The only thing I could do was hold her hand. Madam Pomfrey was unable to stop the pain, and as it turns out, unable to save the baby. About 45 minutes later, when Severus was back in his right mind, it was all over. Lily was now still unconscious, but Madam Pomfrey was confident hat she would come round at some point within the next hour. I had been sitting there all this time with her hand firmly held in mine, without feeling anything but relief at her survival, but the moment I saw Severus step in from outside the curtain and sit at my side, I burst into a river of silver tears. He put his arm around me, and I realised he too was crying. Silently, tears were falling down his blanched face like waterfalls.  
  
"We shouldn't be doing this. We should be here for Lily..." he said, making a vague attempt to stop the tears.  
  
"We should. We mustn't hide what we feel, you especially, and if anything, tears let her know we care."  
  
We both managed to pull ourselves together, and Madam Pomfrey came over to ask if it would be alright to allow "the Headmaster and some manic young" in. Ed came in, and looked straight at me with searching eyes. He looked across to Lily, and just sat on the other side of the bed, with his hand stroking her forehead, waiting for an answer.  
  
Dumbledore walked in and sat down next to him, and looked solemnly towards Severus and myself.  
  
"I have informed Lily's parents that she is ill, and they will be here tomorrow."  
  
"Great. This gets better." Severus muttered under his breath.  
  
Apparently, Dumbledore heard too. For the first time ever, I saw him look truly suspicious of us both. It was a frightening experience, and I could do nothing but will the ground to open up ad swallow us both.  
  
"I still do not know what has happened to her, though, and I do not think her parents will be happy about that. So, which of you is going to tell me?"  
  
I took a deep breath, and told him the whole story. Ed just gaped at me, and Sev occasionally looked up at something that suprised him. Dumbledore's expression didn't falter, and when I had finished, he just nodded.  
  
"You are a good friend, Miss Bolovnik. If I can remember anything about your father, it was that he was loyal to all his friends, above anything."  
  
"What?" Ed looked a little confused at the use of my Romanian surname.  
  
"Professor," I mumbled quietly "its Montague now. It has been since I came to Hogwarts."  
  
" I think that now is the time for you to start telling your story the correct way around, don't you?" 


	22. Miss Bolovnik

A/N: This is the explanation for last chapter, will carry on story chapter 23  
  
Miss Bolovnik  
  
  
  
I think I had better come clean to you, as I had to to them all those years ago. I told you at the beginning of my tale that my father was a wizard and he died when I was very young, and my mother took me back to Romania to bring me up, yes? Well, I am afraid I had to tell you that so you would see things the way they were seen by Severus, Lily and Edward.  
  
It was, or rather is, infact the other way around. My mother died giving birth to me, and it was she who was the witch, and it was she who had the name Montague. My father is the vampire of the family. Count Pyietek (pronounced p-yay-tek) Bolovnik of Maramures, the region to the northwest of Transilvania.  
  
He and Dumbledore agreed that it would be safest for me to go by a British name and not to mention that it infact was my father who was the vampire to anyone. The Bolovnik Family name is famous throughout Romania, and is known by most in Britain, too. If anyone were to know that I were Lady Rene Bolovnik, daughter and heiress of Count Pyietek Bolovnik and Countess Vada Montague, I'd be known as a vampire, and probably lynched, but as Rene Montague, daughter of Peter Montague, I wouldn't be given a second glance.  
  
I hope you may forgive me for my "little white lie". 


	23. For Lily and You

A/N: I think I now know how to make writing bold/italic, etc, but I am not sure. Forgive me if it didn't work, I'll fix it as soon as I can. If it did work, YAY!  
  
  
  
For Lily and You  
  
  
  
For the first time in my life, I felt resentment towards Dumbledore. I did not see the need to make this already abysmal situation worse by telling Edward and Severus I had lied about my parents to them. You may not think that it was such a huge thing, but during Vodlemort's rise to power, Count Bolovnik had famously declared that he and his family would take no stance in such a mortal argument, and he made enemies of more than a few people, on both sides. That was why it was dangerous for me to take such a well- known name in Britain, where many people thought that for their neutral state, the Bolovniks should be punished.  
  
I told them, and they both just gaped at me in amazement. I fully expected a full onslaught from both of them when Dumbledore had left our presence, especially from Severus. This, however, was not to be.  
  
Dumbledore did eventually leave, but asked them both not to jump to conclusions, and to remember that we had to keep our heads for Lily's sake.  
  
"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Ed whispered harshly across the bed. "Didn't you think you could trust us?"  
  
"No, I...I just couldn't. I promised my father before I left for Hogwarts that I would never tell anyone who I really was or my real name. Please, you have to understand, I had no choice!"  
  
Severus just sat there, glaring at the walls. If they hadn't already been made of stone, a look like that would have turned them to it. This was perhaps worse than anything, him not being able to speak to me at all. We just sat by the bed in silence; a morbid tension filling the air. Finally, at gone midnight, Madam Pomfrey shooed us out. We all protested viciously, but she would not let us stay. Ed gave in long before Severus and I, and merely said he was going for a walk.  
  
"Go help Filch if he runs into him." I muttered under my breath. Filch had been there quite a few years, but he was old, mean and vicious even then.  
  
After almost twenty minutes of quarrelling in harsh whispers, Madam Pomfrey at last agreed to compromise.  
  
"Fine! I swear that if this girl comes to in the night, I will send a house- elf up to tell you, Alright? Now get out! Go on!"  
  
Feeling that this would be the absolute best we could do, we left. It seemed much, much colder out in the corridors now than it had ever been. Severus and I walked back to the common room the longest way we could, hoping desperately for a house-elf to come running up behind us. As we began to climb the last set of stairs, I could stand the silence no more.  
  
"Well? Are you going to ignore me for the rest of the year, or what?"  
  
I practically spat the words at him. I just wanted to diffuse all the tension and have done with the inevitable shouting match.  
  
"No. I was actually thinking it would be a more permanent idea. I think it's for the best, don't you?" All at once I knew that the sorting hat had been 110% right in putting him in Slytherin. His words and expressions were pure venom.  
  
"And what do you mean by that?"  
  
"Who knows what other [i]lies[i/] you'd tell me! Or what truths you'd choose to "forget". The two biggest lies I have ever been told were exposed tonight, and you played a part in both."  
  
"And I had no choice in both! You know that if I could have I would have told you."  
  
"Would you?"  
  
"YES!"  
  
"You think of NO ONE but you. You just kept on lying for your own bloody self!"  
  
"THATS RIGHT! I LIED ABOUT MY FAMILY TO STOP MYSELF AND ANYONE WHO WOULD HAVE CHOSEN TO STAND BY ME BEING LYNCHED! HOW [i]SELFISH[i/] OF ME!"  
  
"THEN WHAT ABOUT THAT BABY?"  
  
[b] "I DID THAT FOR LILY AND YOU!" [b/]  
  
And with that, I ran on ahead, not wanting him to see me cry, knowing he had caused it. Once again, the cruelty of children is unparalleled. 


	24. The Sound Of Silence

A/N: Thanks very much to Misters Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel for the title of this chapter. You should all watch the Graduate. Great Film. I have not been brainwashed by listening to too much Simon and Garfunkel. I swear.  
  
HEADS UP! Long chapter ahead!  
  
The Sound Of Silence  
  
  
  
Nothing would bring us to talk for the next weeks. We sat apart at meals and we both went to extraordinary lengths to avoid one another. Severus had befriended Lucius Malfoy and his cronies, while I took to the Marauders. The only times we did see or speak to each other were in the hospital wing. Lily was taking a lot longer to recover than Madam Pomfrey had first thought. Dumbledore had excused us both from any formal school meals or assemblies, but after two we decided to sit with her in shifts. All we would do in the hospital wing was dwell on "what if"s and "If only"s. Lily finally regained consciousness four days after Christmas, and as it so happened I was with her.  
  
Her words were groggy and slurred at first, but still, we had expected nothing better. She had been through nothing like we would ever know, and would have to carry a bigger burden than most adults could bear.  
  
"Ren, tell me what happened, I need to know."  
  
"How far back can you remember?"  
  
"Umm..." She took a few minutes to think about it, but eventually, she did recall something. "The Ball. Definitely the Ball. I had a stomach ache, and we had to leave, but that's all."  
  
I sighed and smiled at her as sympathetically as I could, just to keep myself from crying. This would be the second person in a week that was going to have their world brought crashing down around their ears by me. Remus had try to tell me otherwise, but I wouldn't listen. I fully expect that Lucius would be trying to convince Severus not to care himself, but he would. He may not have thought I was worth the air I breathed, but he still cared about Lily.  
  
"Well, uh, Lil, this isn't going to be easy. Y-you...you had a miscarriage."  
  
Her eyes dropped from my gaze, and she looked down at the foot of the bed. I paused, to let it sink in. There was no point in rushing this, or it would all have to be said again.  
  
She sighed, and looked up at me again, a tear welling in her eye.  
  
"I thought perhaps that was it, you know."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"I'd been in a bit of pain all Christmas day, and part of the night. I thought that might be it." She smiled weakly, small tears falling from her grassy eyes.  
  
I just sat there dumbstruck.  
  
"Lily, Why? Why didn't you say something? We could have saved it!"  
  
"I thought that it was the easiest way out for all of us. Severus has a great career ahead of him in Potions; he doesn't want some bawling baby to look after! And, perhaps he wouldn't have had to know."  
  
With every word she broke down a little more. She hadn't known really, just perhaps had a feeling that she'd lose it. I just buried my head in my hands. Why the hell hadn't she said something though? She didn't want that baby to die, no way.  
  
"Lily, I...what do you mean? Of course he had to know!"  
  
"Perhaps, I...oh, God Ren, I didn't know! I thought that it was indigestion, but when it kept on, I thought it might be something to do with the baby, b-but I didn't know what to do! I made a deal with myself that...well, that if it didn't go away after the ball, I'd tell Pomfrey. I didn't think that it would happen so fast."  
  
Confusion. Pure confusion for both of us. I was trying to work out why she hadn't said something earlier, and I think she may have been thinking along the same lines. There was a long silence, and then I guess curiosity got the better of her.  
  
"So, who exactly knows?"  
  
"Well, Severus, Ed...and Madam Pomfrey, obviously. Umm, Dumbledore, me and your parents. Oh, and Professor Sambora."  
  
"So everyone and his brother?"  
  
"No." I sighed. This had to be broken to her somehow. "Look, Lily. They all had to know, and some of them haven't reacted well. Madam Pomfrey was shocked, but she's fine about it now, ditto Professor Sambora, an..."  
  
"Why the hell did he have to know?"  
  
"It's a requirement. He's our head of house. It's him that has to make our excuses. He sent the card." I nodded to a sympathy card with some Tiger Lilies on the front, her favourite flower. Professor Sambora always said he didn't really see the point because they just sat there and grew, but there we go!  
  
"Oh, I suppose. Carry on."  
  
"Dumbledore was a little ticked off that you hadn't told anyone, but I doubt he'll tell you off for it. Madam Pomfrey had a word with him."  
  
"What did she say?"  
  
"I'm not sure, but I did catch the phrase 'female mentality' in there somewhere, so I reckon you're safe."  
  
She nodded, and then looked nervously away from me.  
  
"A-And, how about Ed?"  
  
"Uh, well, he was shocked, but I went and upset him then. He'll get over it."  
  
"What did you do?"  
  
So I had to go through all the changed-name scenario and had to explain myself all over again. Lily took it quite well, though, considering that the others were refusing to talk to me, and that the person who had the most right to hate me for it was she.  
  
"So why didn't you tell us? Didn't you trust us?"  
  
"How can you say that, Lil? I trust you and Severus more than anyone in the world, but I swore to my father and to Dumbledore that I would only tell the story to people I knew would never betray me, and even then it must be told the other way around. I'm sorry, I just couldn't..."  
  
"I know. So, how did, umm...how did he take it?"  
  
"He nearly passed out. I told him as soon as I got you up here, you were in a bad way." I smiled at her, and picked up her hand "You know, we thought we'd lost you for a while, too... I'd probably go and find him, tell him you're awake."  
  
She suddenly looked desperate and pleading again, like when she had begged me not to tell him.  
  
"Do you have to? I mean, It'll wait, won't it?"  
  
"Lily, he'll be here in half an hour anyway. We've been taking shifts to sit with you. Wouldn't you rather get it over with? Before you have to see Dumbledore and your parents?"  
  
"Yeah, I suppose...hey, when will my parents be arriving?"  
  
"They were due boxing day, but its been snowing practically non stop since Christmas day. They can't get here yet, but Dumbledore says if they aren't here by tomorrow, he'll use magic to get them here."  
  
I got up, and as I went to leave and let go of her hand, her grip tightened.  
  
"Thank you, Ren"  
  
I smiled, and walked slowly out of the room. Now, where to find him? 


	25. Diamond in the Rough

A/N: I hope you liked the last few chapters. I almost cried because I was listening to Tina Turner's song On Silent Wings. It's a saaaaaaaaaaad song!!  
  
Thanks this chapter to Disney for the title (can you tell me which film it's from?)  
  
I have made up the first names of Crabbe snr and Goyle snr, but in theory they belong to Miss JK Rowling.  
  
  
  
Diamond in the Rough  
  
  
  
I walked down the halls with my stomach churning. Not only did I have to face and have a conversation with Severus for the first time in four days, but I had to deal with Coridan Crabbe, Rulland Goyle and Lucius Malfoy. Just what I always wanted.  
  
I finally found them lurking in the dungeons, up to no good I'm sure. I understand that now the dungeons of Hogwarts are a favourite haunt of Severus now. They never were before. You may find it hard to believe, but he did much prefer to be up on the Quidditch pitch or in the then Potions lab opposite transfiguration.  
  
"Where have you been? I've been looking for you!"  
  
"I don't recall being told that I have to answer to you. What do you want?"  
  
"You don't have to answer to me at all, Severus, and if you do no wish to hear what I have to tell you, then say so, and I will leave."  
  
Lucius sneered in my general direction, and then turned loftily to Severus.  
  
"I suggest, then, that you say so. From what I have heard, she is not trustworthy anyway." Crabbe and Goyle laughed gruffly. "You see, Severus, you should never trust a half-breed, and especially not a half-breed with such dishonourable family roots!"  
  
And then I did something that should in all rights have got me expelled. My eyes bleached, my skin blanched and my teeth grew. I charged at Lucius, and thrust him up against the dungeon wall, holding him there by his neck. His eyes darted down at me in fear.  
  
"Put me down! Put me down now! Crabbe, do something!"  
  
Coridan came at me like an uncoordinated baboon, and tried to pull me off Lucius. I promptly sent him flying across the corridor to the opposite wall, where he knocked himself unconscious and slumped to the floor. Rulland Goyle began to start towards me, but Severus stood in his way.  
  
"You are one of THE thickest people I have ever met! Did you not see what just happened to Crabbe? She'll just do that to you, and anyway, I don't think I like you fighting my battles for me. Put him down, Rene. Now."  
  
Goyle slunk away, cracking his knuckles, and Severus turned to me with his final words.  
  
"And neither do I recall being told to answer to you, Severus. I will do what I please."  
  
"You'll do something stupid and get yourself expelled. For God's sake, break the habit of a lifetime and see sense, Ren! Put Him Down NOW!" And with that I sent him flying into the wall too. I don't take kindly to people who lack manners. He wasn't out cold though; something made me hold back.  
  
"Now," I sneered, looking back at Lucius, who had broken out in a nervous sweat. "Would you kindly tell me what exactly you have against "half- breeds" such as myself?"  
  
I could feel him shaking under my grip, and as he spoke he stuttered.  
  
"M-my father i-is a very i-important man, an-and I don't think he'd take kindly to h-having you..."  
  
"Are you too weak to fight your own battles, Malfoy? Too scared that you might lose for the first time in your life? Have to call on Daddy? Well, let me even things out a little. I won't do sod all about this, I'll get *my * Daddy to sort it out! Do you know who that is, Malfoy?"  
  
He began to stutter again, but it was pathetic so with my free hand I held his jaw shut.  
  
"Let me tell you who he is. Count Bolovnik of Maramures. Do you know him? Well, let me tell you, he is no half-breed, and feels little compassion or mercy. He would not hesitate to put paid to anyone who hurt his only daughter. You're right, Malfoy. You guessed, I am a half vampire, but let me tell you now; it has its advantages. I have a home and a life away from Hogwarts. My future, unlike yours, does NOT rest on my passing my N.E.W.T.s, and it would not worry me in the slightest if I were to accidentally kill you down here," At this point I tightened my grip around his neck, and he gagged slightly. "And become expelled. Just because I have not killed before does not mean I will never kill. Don't try me."  
  
I dropped him from the wall, and he slumped in the corner, cowering like a baby. I began to turn away, but he began to squeal.  
  
"I'll have you thrown out! You threatened to kill me, and I have three witnesses! Dumbledore'll never let you stay!"  
  
"Arrogant Mortals such as yourself would do well to keep their mindless comments to themselves! Did you not hear me? It matters not if I am expelled, Malfoy. And I would think, anyway, that your cronies show more intelligence than you do; though that is not hard. Someone strong enough to send them flying 6 feet and knock them out with only one arm and no effort is not going to take kindly to them running to the headmaster, is she? Now shut up, and if you say another word, I'll break your legs. Understood?"  
  
He just stayed there, looking at me with wide-eyed fear.  
  
"I SAID, Mr Malfoy, is that UNDERSTOOD?"  
  
"Yes! Just leave me alone!" And with that, he began to cower behind his hands.  
  
I smiled. The true colours of the Malfoy family revealed in all their glory. Then I turned my attention to Severus, who was still on the floor.  
  
"Get up, you look like a beggar."  
  
He got to his feet with typical lofty grace, and smoothed down his robes before turning to me. He raised his eyebrows as if to say "Well?" and continued to brush himself off. I grabbed his jaw and pulled his face to look at me.  
  
"You are a gentleman, Severus, of a respected family, and when your father dies, you will become a Lord, if my memory serves me correctly?" I did not wait for an answer. "As you know, I can't bear people who show no manners. You will look me in the eyes if and when I deign to talk to you, understood?"  
  
He smiled a wicked smile, and began to reply, his voice awash with bitter sarcasm  
  
"By the same token, you are a titled lady already. I wonder what your father would think of his daughter, Lady Rene Bolovnik, who upon *his * death will become Countess Bolovnik of Maramures, showing such an appalling lack of manners that she started a fight? Surely ladies do not start fights?"  
  
"True, Severus, true." I had to chuckle at his amazing arrogance and bravery. "Ladies do not start fights, and I would never dream of doing so; I am merely finishing it. Now, do you wish to here what I say, or will you do as your puppeteer Malfoy says and tell me to leave?"  
  
I released his jaw, with perhaps more push than was necessary.  
  
"Both. Tell me quickly, the leave quickly."  
  
"Fine. You know, if you had stopped that {gesture to Malfoy} over there speaking out of line, there would have been no need for all this. I could have come and gone in seconds..."  
  
"Just say it, or don't bother, whatever you prefer, and get out of my sight."  
  
"Well, if you are that nonchalant, I will not bother. It's just about Lily. No matter."  
  
And I proceeded to walk off. I managed to count to 3 under my breath before  
  
"What? What's the matter?"  
  
"So perhaps you are the Severus I know. You do give a damn about something other than your pride!"  
  
"WHAT IS IT!"  
  
"Severus, calm yourself. Do you really think I would have made all this fuss and wasted time if there was something wrong?" Malfoy looked like he was about to make some lurid remark, but Severus was the one who advised against it.  
  
"Shut your trap, Malfoy. I hope you don't think she was joking when she said she'd kill you."  
  
"SHE was the cat's mother, Severus. I have a name. But perhaps I shall leave the lecture on manners for today. I have taught enough. I merely wished to inform you that Lily is now conscious, and she would like to see you."  
  
And with that he ran past me to the hospital wing. I did not follow at the same speed. I turned to the three snivelling wrecks in the corner, and laughed.  
  
"Lucius, please give my regards to your father! And by all means, tell him about today. See if your Daddy can save your bruised pride!"  
  
I began to ascend the stairs. I would give them a few minutes alone if I went at a regular pace, but no more. I wanted to make sure I heard everything he said. It does not take a lot for me to lose my trust in people, as it does the other way around. I just have reason to suspect far more often, as there are more solid evidences of dishonour than pointy teeth and pearly eyes. 


	26. The Parting of the Ways

A/N: I know there was a chapter in "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" with the same name as this one, but, in my defence:  
  
a) I didn't realise at first, it was pointed out to me.  
  
b) It fits well  
  
c) Everything else comes from Harry Potter books, so why worry? If you don't like Plagiarism then what the hell are you doing on a fan fiction site?  
  
  
  
The Parting of the Ways  
  
  
  
When I reached the hospital wing, I had managed to calm myself down. My eyes and skin were back to normal, and my teeth were fast retracting. Much against what I had thought, I had rather enjoyed my trip to the dungeons. I had been needing to let off steam for a very long time, and the three stooges down there helped me out, if truth be told.  
  
As I came up the stairs and rounded the corner, much to my suprise Severus was outside the door. I looked quizzically at him, and he glared right back. I was reminded of some lines from the poem, "The Raven". Whether or not it was because the overall impression he gave was black, gothic, gloomy and foreboding, I shall never know.  
  
"What are you waiting for? She wanted to speak to you."  
  
"Precisely. Me. So what are you doing here? Come to throw your weight about some more?"  
  
"I must say, Severus, though you have changed beyond all other recognition, one of your qualities remains. You, unlike that Malfoy, are brave without the brainless braun of Crabbe and Goyle to back you up. It takes a great deal to stand up to ones enemies, and even more to ones friends, does it not?"  
  
I immediately knew what I had set myself up for in that last sentence, but after a few seconds to dwell on it, it turned out it had been a good thing to do. It served as a test to see just how irreparable the damage to our relationship was. I waited for conformation of what I thought was more or less definite, but it never came. The opposite did.  
  
"Indeed, it does. It seems you have that great deal in certain circumstances, as you showed just now."  
  
"And may I return the...compliment? You to have that "great deal", but do tell me what you meant by in "certain circumstances", I'm intrigued."  
  
"You can stand up to me without question, but why can you not, then, stand up to Lily?"  
  
This was not what I was expecting at all.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You can treat me as you did down in the dungeons today, but tell me why you cannot make Lily tell me anything? Why must I hear it from you in a fit of anger?"  
  
  
  
"It was her decision to make, and there is not a lot of standing up I can do when such a situation arises and catches me as much off my guard as anyone else. Strength and a loving father will not stand up in such a case."  
  
"Is this a confession that you are not, infact, infallible?"  
  
"I never claimed to be anything like. I merely suggest to intimidate such fools as I demonstrated with your pit vipers today. And in my defence, I do not believe I was the only person to throw a fit of anger on Christmas day."  
  
"No, you were not, but in MY defence, you were the only one who nearly got someone killed! I believe that was reason enough for my anger."  
  
I just stared at him. I couldn't believe he had said something so sharp. I felt foolish that I had imagined he would forgive me, but I guess then the wounds were still fresh.  
  
"You know that isn't true."  
  
"Not a lot about you is."  
  
I began to walk away. I felt a single silver tear fall from my eyes. The cruelty of children once again showed itself. I headed straight for the common room, not wanting to see his face ever again.  
  
"Running away, Lady Bolovnik?"  
  
I stopped, and was about to turn on my heals and go for him, but it was only what he would have wanted. I fought my heart with my head; it would only make things worse.  
  
"Do tell Lily I will be in to see her later, Severus. That is, if you ever pluck up the courage to go in there yourself."  
  
Typically, without missing a beat:  
  
"Madam Pomfrey is just doing some tests. Blood Pressure and so on. Its a *human * thing, I doubt you'd understand."  
  
I decided to let this one slide. Chides like that were going to become common from him, so the quicker I got used to it the better. I knew it would only make things a hundred times worse if I made any retorts, because he was afraid to go in. Madam Pomfrey had checked Lily's blood pressure before I left, and had told us there would be no more tests today, just plenty of rest. Anyway, I think that I can make a good guess at whom out of Severus and Lily had the higher blood pressure. 


	27. Muggle Plugs

A/N: Congratulations to Reen, who guessed correctly what Disney film the title of chapter 25 was. The answer of course, was Aladdin, where it is spoken by the embodiment of the Cave of Wonders. None of you guessed my hidden link to Disney though, in the same chapter. Tsk, tsk.  
  
  
  
Muggle Plugs  
  
  
  
As I strode on, I became less and less sure of myself. I realised that the fates were fast falling apart. Lily was inevitably going to have to pick a side; we couldn't spend the rest of our school lives sitting either side of her pretending the other wasn't there. I began imagining what I would do if this happened. Change houses? Nothing? Leave and go home?  
  
I became so enveloped in my musings that I literally walked into Professor Dumbledore. I looked around, and realised I was on the corridor to his office, no where near the common room.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry sir, I...I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere, I..."  
  
He chuckled warmly, and smiled down at me.  
  
"My dear, I believe you have acquired your father's intuitiveness. He would often subconsciously travel to somewhere he was needed or required, and not know why or how he got there!"  
  
I looked at him puzzled. Why was I needed or required here? In typical Dumbledore style, he read my mind.  
  
"Come, to my office. I was just off to the hospital wing to find you."  
  
"That would have been the last place you would have found me." I muttered, not entirely meaning for it to be said out loud.  
  
"And why would that be?"  
  
"Three's a crowd, I guess."  
  
"I take it that you and Severus are still on rocky terms?" He tapped his wand on the door, and it flung open. Fawkes cawed almost politely at me, in a sort of greeting. At least Dumbledore was consistent; even his pet was madcap.  
  
"Please, do sit down." He gestured to a big, green armchair opposite his desk.  
  
"Thank you, sir. Yes, I'm afraid we are." I paused, and looked curiously at the old man who was busily tending to Fawkes food-bowl. "Sir, if you don't mind my asking, how did you know that we were...on rocky terms?"  
  
"I taught both your parents, and both of his. I can see exactly what you both took from each parent, and I can read you both like books...most of the time, anyway!" He chuckled again, and I must have given him another questioning look, as he answered my mentally spoken questions once again.  
  
"I say most of the time, because you both have a element you both take from your fathers." and he smiled warmly, looking turning to me from Fawkes' perch. "You are as unpredictable as the wind. So, most of the time I can see that you are going to do something totally unforeseen. The rest of the time, when you both occasionally choose to conform, I have no clue what you are going to do!"  
  
It took me a few seconds to totally understand what he had said. When I did, I realised he was completely right.  
  
"Now, onto more serious matters. Tea?"  
  
"Uh, No thank you."  
  
"Are you sure? It's finest Darjeeling!"  
  
"Sure, thank you."  
  
He poured himself a cup, and sipped it thoughtfully a moment. He then placed it onto the table, and took the teapot over to Fawkes. He then proceeded to pour it into the water-bowl, and the Phoenix eagerly lapped it up. He returned, took his tea, and sat down behind his desk. He again sipped thoughtfully, and glanced at the ceiling.  
  
"You are a very strong young lady, Rene."  
  
I didn't quite know what to make of this, but you rarely knew what to make of Dumbledore.  
  
"Uh, thank you?"  
  
"Yes, very strong. Not just physically, as you demonstrated earlier."  
  
His eyes flickered briefly down from the ceiling to me, and back up again.  
  
"I'm really sorry about that. I just lost my temper. I understand if..."  
  
"Oh no, do not be sorry. You have been under a lot of emotional strain lately, and you were provoked. Perhaps, in future, you should try your best not to lose your temper quite so readily, but I cannot blame you. That Lucius Malfoy can say some frightful things, sometimes."  
  
"Thank you, sir. If it ever happens again, I'll try not to throw anyone across a room."  
  
At this we both laughed. It eased some of the tension, but a question still hung on the musty air.  
  
"Sir, what did you want to talk to me about?"  
  
He sighed heavily, and put down his cup.  
  
"Rene, I believe the reason Severus is not talking to you is because you never told him about your true heritage, correct?"  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
"He does not mean the things he says, you know. He's just in shock. He has been through quite a bit, lately."  
  
"I know." I paused. Dare I ask him what had played on my mind since Christmas day?  
  
"Sir?" I ventured tentatively "Why did you make me tell them?"  
  
"That's a question I hoped you'd ask, Rene. I knew that above all people; you three trust one another. And I believe there is a special trust between you and Mr Camerson?" He smiled at this, and I am pretty sure I blushed. "All three of them, especially Mr Snape and Miss Evans, are going to need a strong friend like you more than ever now."  
  
He paused in thought yet again, and got up to walk towards the window.  
  
"I know it may have seemed an tactless and marvellously mistimed thing to do to you, but I had good reason. They need to know that you can keep secrets."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"You have kept your deepest secret from them for five years, despite the fact that you would dearly loved to have told them the day you told them of your race, yes?"  
  
"That would have taken a great weight off my shoulders, yes."  
  
"They will come to realise this, and that if they have learnt anything from both that and your keeping Lily's secret," he shot me a quick glance. "Though that was perhaps not *as * wise, they can trust you. Trust you with anything. If I am correct, I believe Edward will come around to this way of thinking first, and you will be back to normality with him in a few days."  
  
It did make more sense now he put it like that, and when I thought about it, it was indeed the most likely thing for Ed to do. I stopped to think about this for a while, and was startled when Dumbledore began to speak again.  
  
"Of course, Miss Evans *knows * she can trust you, and can rely on you for advice. In future, I expect she will be quicker to follow it." He finished his tea, and placed it down on the table, and looked solemnly back at me.  
  
"However, I do not think Severus will come round so quickly or easily. He will know, but not accept. There has always been a sense of suspicion in the Snape family, if nothing else remained a constant. I do believe though, without a doubt, that eventually he will come to his senses, and he will be the one who relies on you more than anyone." He paused rather dramatically, and looked over the rims of his half-moon spectacles at me with a piercing gaze. "I trust you will be there for him? He will say many things between now and then he does not mean, and he will have to swallow a great deal of pride to come to you for help."  
  
"Yes sir, I will be. If you'd talk to him, I'm here for him now."  
  
"No, no. He must come to his conclusion himself."  
  
He began to ponder once again, and then looked at me questioningly.  
  
"Are you familiar with any muggle devices?"  
  
"Yes, a few..." Again, I could not see where he was going.  
  
"Plugs?"  
  
"For electricity? The things with Prongs they put into the wall?"  
  
"Yes. That's the ones! Do you know how they work?"  
  
I wondered for a moment myself. They put them into the wall and...  
  
"No."  
  
"Well, I believe there are 3 wires and a fuse. The fuse acts as a safety device if the others get out of control. Two of the wires are for the flow of electricity, and if they are mixed up can cause dire consequences. The other wire is an earth wire. It gets rid of any excess energy, and is one of the very important parts of the plug. A grounding influence, you might say."  
  
At this he again looked over his spectacles and down his crooked nose at me. I took it as my cue to leave, as I was unsure what else to think about it. Muggle Plugs? I now understand what he meant quite clearly, and he never spoke truer words. 


	28. Calming Cannon

A/N: If anyone would like to hear the piece of music "Canon", e-mail me at  
  
Blinded_by_the_moonlight@hotmail.com and let me know. I have it in midi sound, and it really is very, very beautiful. If I ever get married (thankfully a long way off) I think I am going to have it played instead of hear comes the bride! I am afraid I do not know whom it is by, but if anyone can tell me I would be very grateful!  
  
  
  
Calming Cannon  
  
  
  
As I was on my way out, Dumbledore followed me. When I went to head for the Common room, he seemed a little confused.  
  
"Surely, now she is awake, you want to spend some time with Miss Evans?"  
  
"I do, Professor, but...I think it best I wait until Severus is gone. Emotions are still running high, and I do not want to get Lily into a state. Please could you tell her I'll be up to see her later?"  
  
He smiled again, and nodded his head contentedly.  
  
"I see, I see. That would be for the best, I think. Good evening, and do give my regards to your father next time you see him."  
  
"I will sir, don't worry."  
  
Then the most awful thought crossed my mind. He didn't know. I ran a step closer to Dumbledore, and quickly spoke again.  
  
"Sir? Does he know that I told them?"  
  
"Yes. I cleared it with him before I spoke in the hospital wing on Christmas day."  
  
The weight of the world left my shoulders as soon as it had come, and I nodded in gratitude. I walked slowly back to the common room, enjoying the solitude. We would be back in lessons in four days time. I hoped that at least one of Ed and Severus would have come round by then, but I couldn't help but wonder if Dumbledore's age would at all affect his sense of time so much that "a little while" may mean a few years, and "eventually" meant a decade.  
  
All I could do was wait.  
  
I reached the common room, and slumped down in a chair near the fire. I lay back and could almost hear calming music playing. As I thought about it, I could hear music playing. It was a violin solo, and as far as I could make out, it was "Canon". I wasn't too sure of anything about the piece, except that it was usually played by stringed instrument and that it was my favourite piece of music. That was what made me think I had been imagining it, but it was far too real. I followed the sound, and it seemed to be coming from the boy's dorms. I searched my mind, and none of the boys I knew were staying played any instruments to my knowledge.  
  
I shrugged, and sat down in my chair once again, and listened quietly. It was soothing, and I just pressed my head back into the cushions and closed my eyes; the sound positively floated down. The next thing I knew it was about 1am, and I had fallen asleep in the chair. I got up, still none the wiser as to the mystery musician, and ambled up the winding stairs to bed. I have never, not even to this day, forgotten the haunting, yet enthralling sound that wafted down the stairs at me, and I doubt I ever will. 


	29. The Evanses

The Evanses  
  
  
  
I went to see Lily the next day, but her parents were there, so I excused myself. I decided to go for a walk in the grounds, which were still frosted with snow, and went to see Hagrid, the gamekeeper. I'm not sure if he is still at Hogwarts or not, but he was a lovely man, if a little unconventional.  
  
I asked him if it would be all right for me to pick some flowers for Lily, and being the man of charity he was, he said yes, but on the condition I came back in an hour. There were some beautiful ones growing in his enchanted herb garden (how else would Lilies and Snapdragons grow in December?) and I chose the closet to perfect I could find. All of them were white or yellow, Lily's favourite colours, and when I was done, I summoned a pretty silver ribbon to tie around their stems.  
  
I looked at my watch, and an hour had passed. I made my way back to Hagrid's hut, where the strangest of smells filled the air. It was neither pleasant nor unpleasant, just strange. I knocked on the door, and Hagrid ushered me in, with the largest smile on his face. As it turned out, he had made a large batch of fudge for me to take to Lily, along with his best wishes. I thanked him, and was on my way, if a little hindered by the shape of the box in which he had put the fudge. It was like a diamond, with many sides, and though the weight didn't bother me at all, the shape was awkward to carry along with a bunch of flowers.  
  
As I reached the hospital wing, Lily' parents were just leaving. Her father saw me, and came rushing up to me. He looked remarkably nervous, though any muggle would look nervous at Hogwarts, even without the reasons for being there Mr Evans had.  
  
"Excuse me? Are you the young lady who came to see Lily a while ago?" He asked, with a prominent nervous quake in his voice.  
  
"Uh, about an hour and a half ago, yes."  
  
"Lily told us who you are. Rene, is it?"  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
"There's no need for that. Call me Martin, and this is my wife, Marianne." he gestured towards the pale woman to his right.  
  
"Pleased to meet you both. I was just going in to see Lily," I gestured to the box "Present from Hagrid...he's the gamekeeper." I added hastily, seeing their confused looks.  
  
"A-and those beautiful flowers?" Mrs Evans ventured half out of politeness, half out of curiosity about how they grew in such weather.  
  
"Oh, well, they're from me. Hagrid has an enchanted garden where they grow all year, and I thought they may brighten up the hospital wing a bit." I smiled as easily as I could at them, desperate to ease their nerves.  
  
"They really are pretty," Mr Evans began again "Her favourite colours."  
  
"Very thoughtful. Thank you." His wife muttered timidly.  
  
"Uh, We...we wanted to thank you...f-for all you've done for Lily. She told us you were the one who helped her...W-we really owe you a lot." He smiled vaguely at me, not knowing what else to say.  
  
"You're welcome. I'm sure most people would have done the same for her. She has don just as much for me over the years."  
  
"Really," piped Mrs Evans, with less nervousness than before "She might not have been here now without you. She's lucky to have a such a good friend"  
  
They both smiled at me, and I had no clue what to say, when, right on cue  
  
"Ah, Mr and Mrs Evans, I presume?"  
  
Their faces paled in amazement, and from the friendly tones, I guessed that Dumbledore was behind me. Mr Evans nodded, though he remained wide-eyed and open-mouthed, and Mrs Evans moved closer to her husband.  
  
"I am the headmaster, Albus Dumbledore. How is Lily this morning?"  
  
"She, She's on the mend, according to the nurse." He offered a shaky hand to Dumbledore, who took it and shook it with gusto.  
  
"If you'll follow me, I've had the house elves prepare some rooms for you. Good Morning Miss Montague." He added. I felt better knowing he would still refer to me by that name in the presence of others. "Do give my regards to Lily when you see her."  
  
"Yes, sir, I will."  
  
He sniffed the air curiously, and then realisation dawned upon him.  
  
"Ah," he said, nodding to the box. "Present from Hagrid?"  
  
"Yes, sir. Fudge...I think."  
  
"Excellent! Well, I do hope Miss Evans enjoys it! Come along now, your rooms are just up these stairs..."  
  
As I watched them head for the third floor, I saw the Evanses halt as the staircase moved around to face Dumbledore. It seemed they were going to have to get used to a lot in the few days they would be staying. 


	30. The Unrelenting Scar

A/N: Many apologies about the delay in updating, but I was having problems with my server. Hate mail should be directed to btinternet.com!  
  
  
  
An Unrelenting Scar  
  
I took a moment to gather my thoughts before I ventured into the hospital wing. I didn't know how Lily would be feeling after seeing her parents. They had been nice enough to me, but I was pretty sure I would be the only one on the receiving end of complete and utter gratefulness. Lily had probably had half and half. Half sympathy and worry, and half shame and anger that she had rotten herself into such a mess in the first place. And as for Severus, god help him. Mr Evans was not a small man, and was, infact, very well built for his age. If he weren't careful, more damage would be done by him than was by me in the dungeons.  
  
I swallowed hard, and backed into the door of the hospital wing (I couldn't open the door with my hands full) and saw an empty bed. I looked around in vague confusion as Madam Pomfrey rounded the corner of her office. She caught sight of me looking puzzled, and politely directed me to a bed out of sight around the corner, in a more peaceful area of the ward. Lily was sat up in bed, reading a book. When she saw me, she slammed it shut and tried to get up. At this, both Madam Pomfrey and I rushed to push her back down, I nearly sending fudge and flowers flying around the ward.  
  
"You really MUST rest, dear, and I do not think you should be sat up. And I must say, I am inoti happy about so many visitors." She gave me an evil and beady-eyed glare, worthy of Severus.  
  
"Really, Madam Pomfrey, I'm fine." she pleaded "And if people didn't come to visit me, I'd go mad. I swear, once Rene's gone I'll sleep for the rest of the day, just please let her stay!"  
  
She again eyed me like a human x-ray machine.  
  
"Hmph. Well, all right, but 10 minutes, and no more."  
  
With that, she strode off to her office, muttering under her breath about her knowing better and her decades of experience. I turned to Lily, and began to unload my burden.  
  
"I went and got you some flowers, because I thought you may need cheering up a bit, and Hagrid sent this up for you." I summoned a vase from a shelf at the end of the ward and placed the flowers in it, and handed Lily the box. She examined it carefully, and sniffed it gingerly. She looked up and across at me, a little confused.  
  
"I think its fudge. I'm not sure, mind, but it should be safe to eat."  
  
She just looked at me, with a saddened smile.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"Not a bother, Lil. I needed to get outside anyway."  
  
"No, not for the flowers, Ren."  
  
I was a bit puzzled. The trip outside had relieved my mind of all the unpleasantness and all the aggravation of the past months, and I was feeling very happy. I had managed to push all the tension between myself and Ed, and what seemed to be the irreparable damage to my relationship with Severus to the darkest corner of my mind. For an hour or so, I had been able to escape, and I had the most unrestrained time of my life out in the grounds. It was like being freed from Azkaban.  
  
Then, God help me, the Dementors came to drag me back.  
  
"No thank you for all you've done. I mean, I've not gotten off lightly, but I may have died if you hadn't been keeping an eye on me."  
  
She began to cry again, but it wasn't the hysterical sobs you might expect. They were small, distraught yet accepting tears, and I knew as soon as the first one fell that this conversation was leading in a rather undesirable direction.  
  
"Lil, anyone would have done the same for you, but what aren't you telling me?"  
  
"Nothing, Nothing!" She said a little too quickly. Then her tears became a little more violent, and she held her hand up to her eyes. "Oh Christ, is it that obvious?"  
  
"No, no, Lily, it's not, I swear. I just guessed that there was something wrong, but hey, I'm your best friend! It's my job!" I tried to say the last few words with humour, but it just came out as a nervous gap-filler.  
  
She took her hand away from her eyes and tried hard to smile. It looked almost painful. I instinctively grabbed her other hand and squeezed it tightly, to let her know that I was listening.  
  
"Ren, I've bloody ruined it! I've bloody well ruined my whole life!"  
  
She pulled her legs up and hugged them close to her, burying her head into her knees. I could have passed out once again; the last time I had seen her like this was in the Greenhouse, and all I could think was "Here we go...". I didn't mean it as selfishly as it sounds, but I couldn't help praying to a God I didn't believe in that this time Lily's hysteria would not leave our lives in the mess it had done before.  
  
I hugged her, and left my hand on her shoulder as I moved away. She managed to lift her head, and to swallow her tears for a few moments.  
  
"Pomfrey got the results of the tests this morning. When...when I lost the baby, she thinks it did...well, she thinks it did more damage than we first thought."  
  
At this, I panicked. I didn't know what to think. I closed my eyes and shut my mouth to try and hide it from Lily, but she was no fool. She noticed. My teeth shot out so rapidly that they cut right through my gums, so I was unable to open my mouth without a torrent of blood pouring out as well as my voice. I hoped for the best and expected the worst, and waited for years inside seconds while Lily conquered her sobs.  
  
"Sh-she thinks...She thinks that I...I'm never going to recover properly."  
  
My teeth dug further into my gums, and I almost yelped in pain. Someone was prolonging this to test me, I knew it. I silently begged for her to get to the point, though I never would have said it out loud.  
  
"I...I'm not going to be able...able to have any more children." She promptly burst into hysterics. I just sat back in my chair and stared. I'd never thought about that.  
  
"Lil, Lily, please. Calm down, I...I'm sure there's something we can do..."  
  
She mumbled through her sobs, and I only just managed to catch what she said.  
  
"No, No, No...I went through all this with her, and she said that creation of a child is something magic can't interfere with, and that I've no hope of ever having a child...Oh, Ren, I'm so sorry!"  
  
I desperately tried to regain my composure. I just grabbed her and hugged her tight. I knew what that felt like, because half-breeds can rarely produce children. I had been thrown into a deep depression for months when I found out, and it still upset me from time to time. This would be even harder than finding out she was pregnant in the first place, and Madam Pomfrey was right. She would never recover. It truly was the end of a world, at least for a time. It was an Unrelenting scar, one that you would bear for life. 


	31. Complications

A/N: Many apologies now, guys, but I have been dragged (kicking and screaming, mind you) back to school. I am not going to be able to update as regularly as I have been doing, but I will try and keep going as far as I can every night.  
  
This chapter is dedicated to Professor Amber Nettles, of Slytherin house.  
  
Apologies for this being short, but I said all I had to say for this little section!  
  
Complications  
  
  
  
I didn't do much after that. I just sat and hugged her, because nothing else would calm her down. She was on a rocky road, and a long one. I couldn't say anything anyway, my mouth filled with blood and agony, but even if I had been able to speak, I would have left what I needed to say to silence. The last thing she needed was another round of twenty questions from me; they would have to wait.  
  
Madam Pomfrey had stuck her head around the door of her office to ask me to leave, but seeing Lily crying in my arms, she showed a new side. She smiled sympathetically, and said not another thing. I was very grateful to her, and when I was about to leave, I had every intention of going to her and thanking her. Such thoughts were banished from my mind quickly.  
  
I had thought Lily had fallen asleep. She had been there a long time, and once her breathing had been rhythmic for over half an hour, I gently laid her down on her pillows again and rose to leave. As I walked for Madam Pomfrey's door, I heard her call me back, in a weak and sleepy voice.  
  
"Rene?"  
  
I strolled back a few paces, so I could hear her properly.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Ren, will you do me a favour? Tell him for me..." And with that, she fell back to sleep.  
  
"Lil," I whispered "Lil! Damnation Lily! I'll skin you when you come round, I swear!"  
  
And I trudged out of the office. This was again going to be hard. Malfoy and company had been going to fabulous lengths to avoid me over the past few days, except Severus. He showed nothing but cold arrogance, which hurt. Perhaps students of his nowadays do not understand my being upset at this; they have to put up with it on a daily basis for no reason. I swear to all those who take that view, he was a different person. I would not have ever seen him the way he is now, not in a million years, but you must understand. He is a complicated man, with both a complicated past behind him and a complicated future ahead of him. 


	32. The Head of the Count

I know that "Complications" was beyond sense in its shortness, but it had to be said and fit no where else. This one is longer. I promise.  
  
  
  
The Head of the Count  
  
  
  
I wandered down to the common room, feeling like death. I had promised Dumbledore I would try and keep my cool if I came into contact with Crabbe, Malfoy and Goyle again, but there really was no other way to deal with them. I finally reached the Portrait, and I mumbled "Salazar" at it wistfully. This was going to be a long day.  
  
I sat down in front of the fire to gather my thoughts before another attack on the dungeons. I looked deep into the flames; they had an almost hypnotic effect on me. I was just nodding off, when I was startled by a voice. One I knew too well.  
  
(Spoken in rapid Romanian)  
  
"Why aren't you in bed? It's past 2 in the morning? Your sleeping pattern will fall out, you know!"  
  
"Dad!" I sprang awake with a start. A head, pale, strongly defined and worried, was hovering above the glowing embers of the fire. "What are you doing? You might have given me away! You know they'll recognise you! Send an owl, don't just appear here without giving any warning to anyone!"  
  
I hastily looked at my watch. Past two? How long had I been there?  
  
"Its 12pm, here, Dad. You scared me. If I could I would have died of fright!"  
  
"Well you can't do don't worry about that." he shot me a small smile, though it wasn't doing much for my nerves. I was expecting someone to walk in at any moment and find the head of one of the most notorious vampires of modern days floating in the fire.  
  
" I just wanted to pop in and see how you were. Dumbledore told me that British boy was giving you a hard time over this...was he right? Servos? Savurous?..."  
  
"Severus, Dad, and yes. He is giving me a very hard time over this. I'm fine though; its nothing I can't handle. Really." I gave him a tolerant smirk. He was one of the most over-protective fathers I had ever met, and if I had asked him there and then to do something about Severus, he would have been through the fire completely quicker than you can say nosferatu, and Severus would have breathed his last. I must admit, part of me felt sorely tempted by it, but thankfully, I thought better of it.  
  
"Look, Dad, I need to go and talk to him now. I promise you I'm fine, and you needn't worry." He looked suspiciously at me, and tilted his head, to show he believed me as much as he liked "Savurous". He needed some persuading.  
  
"The i moment i I feel unhappy, I swear I will let you know, and I'll come home, OK?"  
  
He sighed heavily, and I must say I can't blame him.  
  
"Fine. I'm not happy about this, though."  
  
"You weren't happy about me coming to Hogwarts either."  
  
"Well, why would I be? The magic you have in you needs no wand to command, and no words to control! All you have to do is think! What do you need to be taught? And now all this! If you had been tutored at home like I suggested..."  
  
"I would have no friends my own age and I'd be bored out of my mind. I wouldn't speak English and I would have the trust of no one but you." It was my turn to sigh heavily. "Please, Dad. Its been nice [if a little bit of a shock] to see you, but if you don't go now, you run the risk of being seen and getting me thrown out." I looked at him with a desperate grimace.  
  
"All right, all right, but its only because I love you, Rene." He smiled, and then began to mutter. "Far too much like Vada, mind. Out of control! You know, I thought when you showed so many signs you were going to be a vampire, i hoped you wouldn't be so stubborn as your mother...She'd be very proud of you, you know."  
  
I just beamed at him for a moment. Perhaps it had been just what I needed, to see a friendly face I would trust with anything. I felt a lot better about the unpleasant task ahead of me, just for hearing a few kind words. They made a vivid change to the shouting matches, confrontations and bombshell confessions that had become the Hogwarts Christmas Holiday.  
  
"Goodbye Dad. Thanks."  
  
"The pleasure was all mine, dear." His head disappeared, but just as I turned for the door, it popped back again.  
  
"You know, if you need me to talk to Dumbledore, or that Seffolus idiot, I'd be more than hap..."  
  
"Dad, really. I'm fine, I promise. I will let you know the minute I need help, if you go!"  
  
The head disappeared for good, muttering something about my mother being as stubborn as a goat, and me being a mummy's girl. I stood for a moment and thought. How did people in Maramures find him terrifying? it amazed me, but then again, most muggles don't look kindly upon permanent Half inch long Canine Teeth and bleach white eyes. He'd never hurt them, he just liked to play with their heads a little, that's all.  
  
I carried on out the portrait hole and off down the empty, echoing corridors. I had to get this over and done with as soon as I could, or I would end up throwing Malfoy across a room again. No rest for the wicked. 


	33. The Mirror and The Memory

A/N: Some of you know I am a big Bon Jovi fan, and there is a hidden link in here to one of their songs. Anyone who can tell me the song and link will get a preview of a future chapter!  
  
I would just like to point something out, that in retrospect, I should have said last chapter. Rene's regal and formal tones changed last chapter, and her father did not come across as the imposing and intimidating man he is, but I was demonstrating how they change towards one another, because they are the two most trusting people in the story. I hope this will be clearer as we encounter (if you'll pardon the pun!) Pyietek Bolovnik later on.  
  
Thank you to all my reviewers and readers from Slytherin Common Room. I salute you!  
  
I think I had better do another disclaimer, just to be on the safe side. Little is mine. Severus, Lily, Hogwarts, the mirror, etc. all belong to JK Rowling, who I hope is busily writing HP & TOOTP. Edward Camerson is a creation of a friend of mine, Robert Camerson, who I hope is resting so he can get rid of his cold. The silver tears idea belongs to Elizabeth Stackhouse, nee Dakins, and Rene belongs to me, but that's it. I wish I did own the others, mind, they're great!  
  
The Mirror and the Memory  
  
  
  
I walked down a winding spiral staircase to the dungeons. The walls seemed darker and danker than they had ever been before, and the air was biting cold. My breath glided out in front of me, forming ornate silver clouds. I walked down the passage, looking through the doors of empty rooms as I did. The silence that enveloped the bitter stone of the floor, walls and ceiling, and deafened me as it bounced off them, louder than a thundercrack. Something was wrong, something was very, very wrong.  
  
I looked up, and for the first time since I had left the common room, I paid attention to where I was going, and realised I had no idea where I was. i assumed I was still in the dungeons, but I had never known the passage to go this far. I decided to carry on, but I came to a dead end within minutes, apart from a large, mahogany door with wrought iron fixings. I saw no signs or notices to tell me I was not to be here or that I should turn back, so I tried the handle. if it was locked, it was locked, and I go back upstairs, but if it wasn't...  
  
The lock clicked the moment my hand met the metal, and the door pushed itself open. The room was dark, except for two torches on the walls, which glowed with blue flames. I stepped in cautiously, and I thought for a moment that someone else was in the room. On closer inspection, I found it was a mirror. It had ornate patterning in gold around its frame, and I have not yet to this day forgotten the inscription.  
  
"Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi"  
  
I suspected some sort of trick at first; a joke set up by Malfoy and company to mock me. Vampires have no reflection, as they have no souls. The little bit of mortality gave me a faint hologram, but I looked no more than a ghost. I looked into the mirror, and to my amazement, I was whole. Not an impression of a form, an actual form itself. What amazed me more than this, and made me turn on my heels with speed, but I saw nothing, was the last glimpse of happiness I was going to have in a long time.  
  
The mirror showed myself and Lily and Severus, and Ed hovering in the background. We all seemed to be enjoying ourselves in Hogsmead, like we used to. We were laughing and joking, and Ed was floating dangerously close to an unsuspecting Professor Sambora with what looked like a Fillibuster's Wet start Firework. I looked around again, but the room was bare, except for the flickering torches on the opposing walls.  
  
It hypnotised me. I just stared at it for hours that seemed like minutes, just thinking about all that had happened, and all that was going to happen. There comes a point when you become too upset to cry, though you wish you could with all your heart. I stared into the jovial faces of people I didn't know anymore, wishing I could be in another time and place, with someone else's soul and someone else's face.  
  
Then, as I glanced again at the memory in the mirror, it changed. I saw myself sitting on the floor of the room, and I was again my usual wisp of reality. I was just about to go and look more closely at the mirror, to see where it had disappeared to, when the big mahogany door opened behind me, and thinking it was another illusion, I just watched, to see what would happen. Ed's face peered around the door, and looked around the darkened room. Again, the mirror was showing me what I wanted more than anything, but I felt more than anything it was taunting me. Showing me things I would never have.  
  
"Rene?"  
  
I turned quickly, and it seemed that I had not seen another illusion. Ed was there, and he came over to me and sat down. I just stared at him, with nothing but silent prayers that he had not come to have another go at me. He reciprocated, and at the same time, we spoke; eyes fixed on the floor.  
  
"I'm so sorry, I..." We looked up and smiled. He put his arms around me, and I rested my head on his shoulder. Never Have I been so grateful for a friend offering support. I swear that if he had not come to find me, I would have stayed in front of that mirror for the rest of my life, pondering maybes and what ifs. He stroked my hair gently to calm me down, and it worked. I knew that I could trust Ed with my life, and that he really was one in a million.  
  
  
  
We walked back upstairs sometime later, his arm around my shoulder, heading for the common room. As we entered, I remembered what Lily had asked me to do. I thought it was best to tell Ed as well, and just as I was about to speak, he began for me.  
  
"What were you doing down there, anyway?" He said, but only with mild curiosity, not suspicion.  
  
"I was looking for Sev. Lily needs me to tell him something; she can't bring herself to do it."  
  
He smiled gently and understandingly.  
  
"Oh, right. Say no more."  
  
"No, I...I think its best I tell you too, just so we all know to be careful around her. Madam Pomfrey found out that Lily was affected more than we thought, and she probably won't be able to have children again." I sighed heavily.  
  
"Oh, god. How did she take it?"  
  
"Its upset her quite badly, but when you get used to the idea, its not so bad."  
  
The moment I said it I saw my mistake and could have kicked myself in the shin for it.  
  
"What?" He almost snapped, with almost horror on his face.  
  
"Uh, nothing...why?" My cover-up skills, as sharp as they ever were, came out in full force.  
  
"Y-you can't either, can you?" He sighed, with more sympathy than shock. "Oh, Ren! I never knew, I'm so sorry." He wrapped his arms around me again, and perhaps I needed the comfort more this time than last.  
  
"Well," I choked, holding back the rapidly advancing tears. "Its nothing, it...it just comes as part of the half-breed package, I suppose! I'm alright about it really, its just...just a bit painful to think about, you know?" And I could hold them back no longer. Silver tears of anger, frustration and pain, loaded with all that had happened in the last months flooded down my cheeks.  
  
I cried into his shoulder for what must have been another hour, and he didn't complain. He just sat there with me, stroking my hair again. I finally composed myself, and decided that it was best I get it over with.  
  
"Ed, I've got to go and find him."  
  
He looked disapproving, and as I went to get up, he put his hand on my arm to hold me down.  
  
"You're in no state to go breaking other peoples bad news now. You've done nothing but help Lily, and she deserves it, but you deserve a break just as much. Let me find him for you."  
  
I looked at his determined, yet kind eyes, and gave a small smile.  
  
"No...no, it has to be me. I won't be long, I promise."  
  
And reluctantly, after a few seconds of a menacing gaze, he let me go with a kiss on the cheek. 


	34. Blame

Blame  
  
  
  
I did not want to have to go down into the dungeons again. I would be drawn to the mirror and probably never leave, so I decided to exhaust all other possibilities first. I searched the corridors and had a look in the main hall, and in every classroom, but he was nowhere to be found. I did pop my head around the door of the hospital wing, but the only people in there were Lily's parents, who waved politely. Lily was asleep. I decided that it would be best not to ask them if they had seen Severus; Mr Evans was a nice enough man, but I fully expect that he would not have been as nice to Severus as he was to me.  
  
I finally trudged up the stairs to the astronomy tower, it being my last hope before a long descent into the dungeons, not expecting for the life of me to find him there. I quickly glanced through the door, and seeing nothing but a dark classroom, illuminated faintly by moonlight flowing in from a balcony window, I walked on.  
  
Then I did a double take. Something black had been flickering outside the window. I looked again, and this time I went in, remaining in the shadows, just so I could see the balcony. There he was, leaning against the tower wall, staring into space. His arms were folded across tightly his chest, trying to bar out the biting cold. I remember his face like I saw it yesterday, cold, pale and motionless. Lost.  
  
I don't know how long I stood and watched him. He didn't move, and nor did I. I couldn't bring myself to break the silence to bring him such terrible news. Countless times I took a step forward, and then one back. There was almost something real, standing in my way, forbidding me to go any further.  
  
I finally swallowed my fear and took three long strides towards the door, and opened it quietly, so as not to alarm him. I was quite suprised when he did not show the slightest bit of acknowledgement to me, and carried on, counting stars. Finally, after a long pause hung on the cutting air,  
  
"I wondered when you would come out here." he mused, not seeming to be addressing me, more thinking out loud. "You must have been stood in the shadows in there for half an hour. Gearing yourself up for another fight, I presume?"  
  
This was the beginning of the Severus Snape I must come to face. Harsh and cold as the air, with not an ounce of compassion or understanding in his bitter tones. I felt with all my heart that I wanted to throw him over the edge for such a terse and calculated comment, but I tried to hold back.  
  
"I need no preparation for a physical brawl, Severus. I was merely gathering my thoughts. I need to talk to you."  
  
"Gathering your thoughts? Or thinking up more deceptions?"  
  
My fists and arms were clamped tightly at my sides. I was not going to lose it again; it was only what he wanted me to do.  
  
"I have no time for your wind-ups. I am here to tell you something very difficult, please do not make it harder for me. Will you let me speak uninterrupted, or must you continue your little facade of passiveness?"  
  
He finally turned to look at me, all traces of warmth gone from his pale and shadowed face. He eyed me suspiciously, as if pondering my authenticity. He took two steps toward me, his eyes never leaving mine. I can well understand the fear of children when they dare cross their potions master now.  
  
"Go on..." This was more a command than anything else.  
  
"I would rather you were sat down, Severus. This in no trivial matter, and no matter how cold your exterior may seem to me, I know there is a person in there who is going to be hurt by what I have to say."  
  
"I am fine as I am." He snapped, almost baring his teeth. "I wish I could say that I share your sentiments, but I see very little human in *you*. Tell me."  
  
I sighed heavily. I didn't care what he said or did, this would shatter him. Severus may seem to be nonchalant about other people, but he has a very large capacity for guilt. This would be a weight on his conscience for the rest of his days.  
  
"Madam Pomfrey has discovered that, well...Lily may have been worse affected than we first thought she would have been."  
  
His steely expression faltered, as I knew it would. His arms dropped to his sides, and as I continued, his left arm rose to the wall to steady himself.  
  
"It looks like she will never be able to conceive another child. The Miscarriage caused a great deal of damage that could not be anticipated, and..."  
  
"Don't be so stupid." he retorted. "Pomfrey could raise the dead if she set her mind to it. She'll be able to heal Lily, and it'll all be fine."  
  
I looked pleadingly at him. To twist the truth to yourself is one of the most dangerous things the recipient of bad news can do; false hope should not be dwelled upon.  
  
"No, no we've been through all that with her, I'm afraid. The creation of a child is something magic cannot interfere in, and there is nothing..."  
  
He sank down to the floor, his back to the wall, and his head in his hands. His ebony hair fell past his fingers, making him look like a sad rag doll.  
  
"Severus, I..."  
  
"No, shut up." he whispered hoarsely. "I can't believe this...I ruined her life! I ruined her bloody life!"  
  
"Sev, don't say that!" I knelt down beside him and put my hand on his shoulder. "It's not your fault at all, and you know..."  
  
"What the hell do you know? You have no RIGHT to lecture me on right and wrong! Have I not told you that before? Get OFF me!"  
  
He pushed my hand away, with more force than was necessary, and stormed off, his raven robes billowing out behind him. I sank down to where he had been, and began to count stars myself.  
  
**************************************************************************** ********  
  
I slunk back down to the common room a little while later, to find a hastily scribbled note on the chair where Ed had been.  
  
Rene,  
  
I've gone up to talk to Severus, he didn't  
  
take it well. I hopefully won't be long, but if you  
  
want, I don't mind if you go to bed. Just let me  
  
know.  
  
Ed  
  
xxxxxxx  
  
I quickly scribbled a little message on the other side, and left it where it was. I had my doubts whether Ed would come down alive, let alone soon. I made my way up the stairs to my dorm, and as I got into bed, I realised the curtains around Lily's bed were drawn. I got back up, and went to the foot of the bed, and just peeked through the bottom curtain. Madam Pomfrey had let her out of the hospital wing. My heart lurched, because it meant there really was nothing that could be done. I decided against waking her; she would never get back to sleep with what I had to tell her. I got back into bed, a thousand and one questions whizzing around my mind, none of which I could answer. I could do nothing but dread the following morning. 


	35. Ingratitude and Assumption

A/N: Sorry about this, but I updated chapter 34 today, and there is quite an important bit in there. Apologies if you have already read it guys!  
  
  
  
Ingratitude and Assumption  
  
  
  
I woke up, and Lily's bed was made neatly. I wandered down to the common room, where Ed was nursing a bruise on his cheekbone.  
  
"Oh, Hi." He said, getting up. "Have you spoken to Lily or Severus yet?"  
  
"Not since yesterday, but what happened to you?"  
  
"Uh, Severus apparently didn't want any company or advice last night, but I'm fine, really, its not as bad as it looks." he said, briefly gesturing towards the large black and yellow patch of skin over his cheek. "Umm, do you want to go and visit Hagrid?"  
  
"Not really, I want to find Lily and see how she is, but I'll come with you late..."  
  
"Do you really think that's a good idea? I-I mean, she might be tired, and perhaps a bit grouchy."  
  
He looked at me nervously, and I glared right back at him.  
  
"What's wrong with her?"  
  
"Nothing, well, nothing she would tell me. She came storming down here with a bit of a temper, you see, and..."  
  
"Did she say anything to you?"  
  
"Well, nothing important, just..."  
  
"Just what?"  
  
"Well, I don't know why, by she came in from breakfast or somewhere cussing about...well, about Severus, and...you."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I have no idea. But Ren, come on, she's going through a bad time, you know she wouldn't be angry at you if she were in her right mind."  
  
"Look, wait here, I'm going to find her, alright?"  
  
I didn't wait for an answer from him. I was absolutely astounded; he must have misunderstood. Why the hell was she angry with me? Why the hell was she angry with Severus, for that matter? I trudged around the whole castle, in more than slight confusion, until I finally found her in Greenhouse B, the very Greenhouse that this whole thing had started in.  
  
She turned to me from the mandrake she was tending, and her look turned to ice as soon as her gaze met mine. She threw off the earmuffs she had been wearing, and marched straight towards me.  
  
"You little cow!" She screeched at me, in a tone that made even the Mandrakes shiver. "How DARE you! You told him it was all his fault, didn't you?"  
  
"Lily, what are you on about? I never tol..."  
  
"Then why does he think it's his fault? I can't *believe* you would do this to me!"  
  
"Lily, I never told him that, and you *know* I would never do anything like that! I tried to tell him it wasn't his fault, but he wouldn't listen! Did he tell you all this?"  
  
"No, he didn't." She snapped "He's a better friend than you will ever be! He would never admit that you put those ideas into his head! And what the hell did you think you were doing throwing your weight around in the dungeons? Did I ask you to go off on a mission to kill him?"  
  
I just stared at her in disbelief. I had no idea what to say, except something about that scheming bastard. How else would she have known about the fight?  
  
Malfoy. 


	36. Apologies

A/N: You guys are really great, and I would not continue writing were it not for the tremendous support I am getting from all you reviewers. Thanks to Skyfire, MK, Reen, Polaris, Severussnapeprof, Allosia, Ms Septimus, Rheanna, Sarah, Jethro, Amber, Katherine, Robert, Mask of dawn, Alexia, Konoko, Cody, Lady Roguiesha, Bailey and Miranda for al reviewing. You guys really do keep me going, you know, and I think you are the best set of reviewers on Fanfiction.net!  
  
  
  
Apologies  
  
  
  
Had I not run into Severus first, I would have killed Malfoy, no doubt. I was in the process of striding round the school in search of him and his pit vipers, when I ran into something black and billowing as I walked around the corner.  
  
"You!" He began "You have this AMAZING habit of making things worse don't you? Why did you tell her about the fight and what I said to you! YOU were the one throwing your weight around, and she's not talking to me!"  
  
He glared at me with poisonous eyes, his hands clenched as fists.  
  
"Me? I said nothing! I had just as much to lose by telling her about it as you! And as for it being all my fault, words cut just as deep as the sharpest sword, my friend. I told her nothing, and I very much doubt you would have."  
  
"Then who? Go on, I'm intreagued. Who told her? Who knew about it and found a good excuse to tell her?"  
  
"I can think of no one but Malfoy."  
  
He pondered this for a moment, and his attitude changed noticably. The anger in the air faded, and we both thought it through.  
  
"No, no he wouldn't have would he?" I said, after a few minutes consideration. "If anyone else gets to know about this, he looks like a weakling. He suffers from it far more than we do, and for someone who cares so greatly about his reputation..."  
  
"Crabbe and Goyle wouldn't have done it either." he mused "They can barely string to words together, and anyway, Malfoy would have killed them. Does anyone else know?"  
  
We looked quite blankly at each-other, and for the first time in days there was no malice.  
  
"Well...Dumbledore knows something went on...God knows how, but he does. As far as I know, no one else was there!"  
  
"You didn't tell him?" I shook my head. "I really worry sometimes, he knows every bloody thing that goes on in this school."  
  
"Not everything. Most, but not all."  
  
"Well, then who knew?"  
  
Again, we just stood there, in absolute silence, wondering how on earth Lily found out. As it so often does at Hogwarts, silence speaks a thousand words. Both our minds raced for something we had overlooked, but nothing came, nothing at all. Then it suddenly struck me, why was Severus bothered about this.  
  
"Why do you care anyway? Its me she's gone off at!"  
  
"Its not just you. She freaked out at all the things I said to you, which is what made me think you had told her, but she went mad. She really laid into me about it, and as far as I can judge, she isn't talking to me. Why has she had a go at you?"  
  
"Throwing my weight around, accusing you of causing all this, et cetera. I can't believe she is doing this."  
  
There was a long, awkward pause. We both looked at the floor, partly in amazement at what Lily was doing to us, and partly in knowing we had not spoken in such a civil way for such a long time. it is an odd predicament, to find yourselves suddenly speaking again.  
  
"I think I have an apology to make to you, Severus." I finally ventured. "I should have told you about my father, and...I shouldn't have lost it like that the other day in the dungeons... I'm sorry." I looked up at him, no knowing what to expect. I was very doubtful my apology would be reciprocated; he was very proud even then.  
  
"Apology accepted." He murmured, after another short pause. We both turned for the common room, and walked back in silence. Just as we got to the portrait hole, he stopped and turned to me.  
  
"I think I owe you one too. I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it. I hope you knew that." He looked at me again, his eyes finally dragging themselves from the flagstoned floor. "Friends?"  
  
He offered a hand for me to shake. This was the moment I knewhe would never be the Severus I used to know. He was making a peace offering, yet it was still cold and detatched. I took his hand and shook it, and he smiled faintly at me. Something had changed. Something very important had changed, and I couldn't help but let my heart drop a little at this. We carried on into the common room, and said goodnight, as if we were mere acquaintences. 


	37. Bootmarks and Betrayal- The Beginning of...

A/N: Little bit of language, guys, but I still think this one is still PG- 13. I am now unsure about the course of future sequels (2-4, all different formats) but I am sure of where this one goes and ends up. I am hoping to get there soon, so bear with me!  
  
Disclaimer: Like everyone else on this site I don't own Harry Potter, though I very much wish I did. I have made up the spell "ebriata" (pronounced ee-bree-ah-tah) its from the Latin ebrius, which means drunk. I made up Professor Sambora, though I have borrowed his name from the Bon Jovi guitarist and incredibly gifted soloist, Ritchie Sambora. Ritchie, you're better than Hendrix!  
  
  
  
Bootmarks and Betrayal-The beginning of the end  
  
  
  
The remaining time we spent at Hogwarts was rather uneventful, except for the changes made as of that fateful Christmas holiday. I had better take you through it briefly, up until the eve of our graduation.  
  
Lily, though not for lack of trying on our parts, rarely spoke to us again. She was so hell bent on not forgiving us for things we had not done, she asked Dumbledore for a house transfer. He reasoned with her for about a month, until her parents got involved and threatened to remove her from Hogwarts, and he couldn't let her go after nearly all her exam marks since the first year had been top of the year (Severus trounced her at Potions, not that it matters). We didn't know where she had transferred to, or why, until about halfway through the term after Christmas, she showed up to one of our Transfiguration lessons wearing Gryffindor robes and a smug sneer that a Malfoy would have been proud of.  
  
Which brings me to the Marauders again. Lily had found solace in the arms of that bastard Potter. He and Pettigrew were being unbearable about the whole affair, giving myself and Severus evil grins whenever they could. Don't think we were that hard done by, mind. One evening, I was helping Severus in the Potions lab, and James popped his head around the door to make some chide. Severus didn't even need to look around to know who it was, flipped his wand over his shoulder and shouted "Ebriata". Potter proceeded to fall over, unconscious on the floor. He would come round eventually, but would show all the evidences of being drunk and consequently get told off for it. As far as I remember, Gryffindor lost 70 points to Professor Sambora  
  
"Good shot." I said, regarding James like a pheasant shot down on a hunting estate at long range.  
  
"Practise makes perfect, Rene. I've been wanting to do that since...uh, pass me that vial, will you?" The quick change in topic made me feel a pang of hate towards Lily again. There would always be these annoying pauses, and we would always say things that would dredge up the past. We trudged out of the potions room, I taking a little pity on James and stepping over him, Severus taking none, leaving bootmarks on his shin, groin and forehead. I'm still amazed he got away with that without Potter ever turning us in. Perhaps he knew he had had a thousand revenges on us both by having Lily.  
  
  
  
We went on, throughout our last year, in a haze of unhappiness and longing to get to the end of what had become a two-year torture. Lily, Peter and James seemed to become more evil by the day, though Sirius remained passive, and Remus went the other way. Sirius would often tell James he looked like a peacock with a rock up it's arse, strutting around, showing Lily off. Remus was a little more delicate, though I must admit, he has always been a gentleman. He was militant in trying to repair our broken friendship, and for this I am eternally grateful to him, albeit his attempts were in vain. Though, perhaps they were not entirely lost. While James would shout and curse at Remus for his "interference", Lily would sometimes glance over to us with an apologetic look about her, and smile faintly. It was never returned, just acknowledged, with a curt nod of my head and rapid clenching of Severus' fists.  
  
We passed our N.E.W.T.s with flying colours, and in most subjects we came top of the year. This proved to me what I had suspected; Lily had gone off the rails. She passed all her exams, though only with average marks, and her papers looked suspiciously similar to James's. As graduation drew nearer, the apologetic looks became more frequent, and all malice disappeared from her attitude. It did not from ours, though now, it seems, life was too short. If I had learnt to forgive and forget a little sooner, I would have known her again, for the time that mattered. 


	38. An Unwelcome Visitor

A/N: Thanks again to all you guys reviewing! Not long to go now till the end of this particular "instalment". I think I have narrowed the sequels down to three, though two will be taking place simultaneously...I promise it'll make more sense later!  
  
Just a note, I apologise to any Jimi Hendrix fans out there who fainted at my saying that Ritchie Smabora was a better guitarist. I love Jimi, his style was fab and I must say, Ritchie can't play with his teeth (As far as I know)!  
  
They both rock, big style.  
  
A Visitor  
  
I was sat, on the eve of our graduation, in the common room, waiting for Severus to return from the Potions lab to finish a game of chess. I was sat by the fire, pieces all laid out, when I finally heard someone outside the portrait hole.  
  
"About ruddy time! You've been gone ages, you know we'll not finish until next year's graduation if..."  
  
As I looked up, no one had come through the portrait hole, though I had definitely heard Salazar being muttered at the portrait. Back then passwords weren't changed, they were all the house-founder's first names: Salazar, Rowena, Helga and Godric. It was just a lip-service thing, but there really was no need for them. No one came in, but something did. I stood up and went to back away, but a voice came from the nothingness, and then an invisibility cloak was pulled away from a frightened, puppy-dog face.  
  
"Ren, where is he? I need to talk to you both."  
  
"Your common room is on the next floor down, Lily. You don't belong here any more." I snapped "And its *Rene*, not Ren. Informal tones disappear with friendship, I'm afraid."  
  
At that moment, I heard steps approaching the common room again. I knew who it was but pretended I didn't.  
  
"I'll be over in the corner! Get rid of who ever it is!" She hissed, as she swung the cloak over her shoulders. I sat down and began to put away the chess pieces, seeing that the game would not be finished that night.  
  
"What are you doing?" Severus asked, looking confused. I heard a faint gasp from the corner at his appearance.  
  
"We'll not have time to finish the game tonight." I said, not taking my livid eyes off the board. "There is someone here to see us."  
  
He looked around, still evidently a little puzzled as to my bitter face and cryptic speech.  
  
"What are you waiting for? That cloak does not suit you dear." I mused in a condescending tone. Severus knew the moment I said cloak that it was one of two people, two people neither of us could tolerate. The only child in school who had an invisibility cloak was James Potter, though he did not use it well; if he had we wouldn't have known about it. He was too fond of boasting for his own good, and I believe that it was this love of himself and his fortunes that brought him to his end. It's what he deserved, but he couldn't resist dragging Lily down with him, could he?  
  
She took off the cloak, and her pale, timid face slowly met his steely gaze.  
  
"What are you doing here? Your common room is down..."  
  
"I have already told her that, Severus, but it seems that she means to be here, not out of absent mindedness, but out of necessity. She *needs* to talk to us."  
  
I drew up to his side, arms folded, glaring into her eyes, as he was. Cornered, and in very ill favour, I am suprised she found it in her to say what she had to.  
  
"I...I came to see if, well, if we could talk?" her voice rose in a quizzical tone, and before I had time to think up an answer to make her squirm even more, Severus found the best and most unexpected reaction I have ever seen him give.  
  
"Go on then, talk." He more or less ordered, and he slumped into a chair adjacent to the fire, which danced imposing shadows around his face and hands.  
  
She looked at me pleadingly, but my expression showed no compassion. For a moment, I knew we shouldn't be so hard on her, she had had a hard time of it, but then again, so had we. It had been made a thousand times worse by her playing us off against one another, and then leaving the mess that had been our friendship behind. The HMS Lily leaves quite a wake.  
  
"Well, I...well, this is difficult." She turned from us and gazed out of the window. "I...I think that this has gone long enough. We're leaving tomorrow, and... and I don't want us to leave on bad terms. I was stupid...very stupid to have said what I did, and I didn't really mean it..."  
  
"You're nothing if not consistent, Lily." Severus cooed, in a particularly downward tone. "Lies have become your strong point. You meant every word when you said the things you did to us, and regardless of whether you want to take them back or not, they were said." At the time I agreed whole- heartedly.  
  
"Ren...please! Make him see sense, I never meant it, you know it."  
  
My glance to her was stone cold. She deserved no better.  
  
"Lily, he is right. You meant every venomous word. You should never have transferred to Gryffindor, dear girl, you are the most cunning, most assuming and slyest Slytherin I have ever met. You have said your piece now, and I would like to point out that it was very ill received, rehearsed and delivered. You would do best to leave now, before I "throw my weight" about again!"  
  
Severus rose from his chair, and went to stand by the door. His face was still as cold and impenetrable as it ever became, but his eyes were lost. Lost in thought, in sadness, in hatred, in longing. I swear with all my heart he loved her, but I swear with all my mind that she did mean every word she had said to us. Said in a thoughtless rage, they would have been as water off a ducks back, but said in the way they were, they cut like the sharpest rapier.  
  
"Here is the door, I suggest you make use of it." He snapped, gazing straight ahead of him.  
  
"Please, see sense, both of you! I came here to apologise, and you are throwing it back in my face!" She sobbed in frustration, tears cascading down her scarletine cheeks. "You both did far more than me, and yet I'm the one who gets punished? What's wrong with you?" She slunk down into the corner and began to cry into her hands. At this point Severus lost it. He looked like a volcano about to erupt, his ivory face suddenly as dark and sallow wood ash.  
  
"How *DARE* you, you little harlot? How DARE you? The moment you have the minutest excuse you run off with that pretty-boy Potter, and you ask what's wrong with *US*?" His eyes were no longer lost, but focussed on exactly where he was going. He was advancing on her with a raised arm, ready to take it to her, but I thought that this should be where I intervene. I stepped forward and put and arm out in front of him and the other on his shoulder.  
  
"Severus please," I reasoned, though not over-enthusiastically. The little turncoat deserved to have been smacked into next week, but it was not the best send off we could hope for. "She is not worth your time or effort. Lily, get up. If you had any chance of either one of us coming close to forgiving you, you just relieved yourself of it. I strongly recommend you go running back to Potter, it has worked for you before."  
  
She stood up slowly, her red and puffy eyes avoiding mine. She walked to the door, but as she was about to leave, she turned and looked at Severus.  
  
"Is that really all you have to say?" She asked, with more authority that was owed her.  
  
"No, it isn't. I just wanted to say, as I have never been able to tell you before, that I am glad that child died." I flinched at this, and Lily's eyed grew wide. Insulting a mother's child is never wise. "It would have had a pitiable existence, and I would want no child of mine to grow up with a back-stabbing mother like yourself." And with that he turned to the fire, his one hand resting on the mantelpiece, and his head bowed.  
  
She looked in horror at him, and then began a fresh torrent of sobs.  
  
"You can't say that and mean it, Severus! How can you be so cruel to a child?"  
  
"Not cruel, my dear, but merciful." he muttered, and then glanced up at her for a fleeting moment. "And I assure you, I meant every damn word, just like you did."  
  
She bit her lip, and fled back out of the room. I merely glared at her back, and when she had left, the door. We stayed, motionless, until her violent sobs could no longer be heard.  
  
"I am off to bed." I finally ventured, and began to climb the stairs. "I suggest you keep your guard up tomorrow, Severus. I fully expect that bastard Potter will be out for a fight."  
  
He chuckled sadistically, and looked up at me with a tight-lipped smile and  
  
look of amusement on his face.  
  
"Don't worry, Rene, don't worry. If our pretty-boy Potter wants a fight, then I will give him one." And with that, he stalked up the opposing staircase. 


	39. Burning Hands and Faces

A/N: I'm a bit disappointed that no one got my hidden Bon Jovi link in "The Mirror and the Memory". It was the line where Rene says "I wished that I could be in another time and place, with someone else's soul and someone else's face." That's a line from the song "Someday I'll be Saturday night" which is fabulous, and it did fit the moment very well, I thought. But, fear not! You'll have a chance to redeem yourselves in a later chapter, I promise!  
  
I have mentioned it before, but I will mention it again. I have a midi version of the piece of music "Canon", and it is very easily sent  
  
  
  
Burning hands and faces  
  
  
  
Nothing short of Draught of Living Death would have let me sleep that night. I tossed and turned, musings on the day ahead revolving turbulently around my already clouded mind. I was certain that James would have been told a story, whether or not it would be the correct one, I did not know, but the most probable scenario was that James would want some sort of fight over it all. He always did, he just couldn't resist showing his metal to anyone who would watch. I did fear for Severus, however. I had no thought in me that suggested he was any good with his fists; I had never seen him use any form of attack but his wand and his words. I decided I would just have to keep close, to prevent him from getting shown up to badly on what was meant to be a great day in our lives.  
  
I turned over to look at my clock for the hundredth time in an hour, to see it was five to six. Deciding this was as close as I was going to get to a decent hour, I got up, dressed, and walked down to the common room, and there it was again. The violin. Just as before, the music was flowing and elegant, and the piece was Canon. It was again coming form the boy's dormitory, and was as calming as it had been the first time I had ever heard it. I had to use all my strength not to follow the sound to find out where it was coming from, and it indeed took a great deal more out of me to force myself out into the grounds for a walk.  
  
I went to the lake, but the sound had become haunting. An encompassing addiction that would not leave me alone. It danced across the water's surface, and breezed through the unruly grass. The sound of the strings refused stubbornly to leave my head, and I walked on for a great time listening to their persistent, penetrating tones. I glanced at the sky as dawn began to become more apparent, but did little more than glance, and it took me another two hours, and for my hand, uncovered by cloak, to burn so intensely that it began to give off faint steam for me to realise that I was running very late. The music had occupied me to such an extent that I had been oblivious to pain, but the moment I saw the fury of the blisters and sores all over my fingers and palm, the enchantment disappeared, and pain over-rode it. I ran up to the hospital wing as fast as I could, where Madam Pomfrey was rather suprised to see me.  
  
"Good morning, Miss Montague." She said warily, regarding me as if I were there to cause trouble. "Can I help you?"  
  
I looked at her, a pained expression on my face.  
  
"I...I don't know, you see...I spilt some, some sort of potion over my hand, and, well..." I released the offending limb from the grip of the other, and showed her it.  
  
"Oh good god!" She muttered "What on *earth* did you spill on it? I've not seen anything like it!"  
  
"I...I don't know. I just, knocked something over in...well, it just went all over my hand!"  
  
She looked at me suspiciously again.  
  
"Ah, I see. Its one of *those* accidents, was it? Well, may I suggest, if you really must go where you are not supposed to, make sure next time it is not the potions lab! 9 times out of 10, that's where an injury occurs from!"  
  
She busied herself with bandages and balms, and the pain receded to a dull ache. I was commanded to let it be for at least 24 hours, and to keep it well protected. I slunk out of there half an hour later to be greeted by an angry face, capped with a mop of messy black hair. The raw, burning scarlet of said face was nicely complimented by the rouge and ochre tones of Gryffindor robes. 


	40. Fate, Maraudery and Knuckle-dusters

Fate, Maraudery and Knuckle-dusters  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing Potter? You scared me half to death!"  
  
I barked at him, my eyes ablaze. I was about to tell him where to go, on no uncertain terms, when I felt solid metal hit my cheekbone, shocking me so I hit the wall and slumped to the floor. Slowly, thinking about it, it hadn't hit my cheek, it had hit me in the temple, a tender part of any creature, unnaturally strong or not.  
  
"Do you know what you and that sallow-faced prick did to my girl? She came running back in tears last night, because of something you said or did. I don't want you to *ever* go near her again, understand?"  
  
As far as I recall, he continued to shout, while I drifted in an out of semi-conciousness. I couldn't fathom what he had hit me with, but it had hurt like hell. I sat for a few minutes, but I managed to regain enough of my mind to see the most spectacular sight I have ever seen.  
  
Rounding the corner of the corridor came running four figures, the one, slightly more slender than the other three, pausing briefly, then turning and running with purpose in the direction of Dumbledore's office. How I still had such clear bearings of the castle, I did not know. The one came straight at me, and put a hand to my head, but just to the side of where I had been struck. The other two ran to James, one grabbing his shoulder and yanking him about to face them, and then the other floored him in the most spectacular one-punch pummelling I have known. James didn't get up; the knock had rendered him unconscious, just as his own gradually did the same to me. The last thing I remember was being picked up by the figure that approached me, who took me into the hospital wing with the figure who had delivered the mind-blowing punch.  
  
  
  
I woke up, what I gather was some hours later, in the hospital wing again. My head felt heavy and awkward to lift, but light and airy at the same time. I immediately tried to sit up, but I was forced down by two sets of arms. I gazed up at them, trying to focus on their faces, but had they not spoken, I would have not been able to guess who they were for a considerable amount of time.  
  
"Shh, it's ok Ren, you're going to be fine." Ed muttered in a calming voice. He gently smoothed the side of my head that remained intact with one hand, with gripping my burnt arm gently, but reassuringly with the other.  
  
"You'll be fine soon, but don't try and get up, you'll make it worse." ventured Severus, in soothing tones I had never nor have yet heard him use again.  
  
"What happened?" I asked, my voice croaky from lack of exercise.  
  
"Nothing, don't worry about it." Ed replied, looking at Severus in an undefinable way.  
  
"No, I want to know what happened. Tell me, I'll need to know at some point."  
  
Severus this time returned Ed's wary glance, and sighed heavily.  
  
"She's right, she has to know." Then, turning back to me, his hand finding my own, unimpaired one. "Lily ran crying to James, like we thought she would, and she told him some sort of cock and bull story about it. I don't know exactly what she said, but from what Sirius said, it wasn't the truth..."  
  
"Sirius?" I questioned, with more than mild shock in my voice. "When did you talk to him?"  
  
"He and Remus came over to Ed and I at Breakfast this morning, to let us know that James had lost all means of rational thought." He looked away, the biting in his voice deathly clear. "They warned me that Lily had said some stuff that they very much doubted was true, and that he was on the lookout for either one of us... I'm just so sorry I didn't get to you in time."  
  
"I'm fine, don't be sorry...How did you even know where we were?"  
  
"We knew that both of you were in trouble as soon as we talked in the great hall, so we came to find you as soon as we could." He continued, his voice edgy and inconsistent. Ed saw this too, and chose to step in.  
  
"We just ran all over the place to find you, and thank god, you were on the first floor we looked."  
  
"The four figures..."  
  
"Yes." Severus resumed. "Remus stopped and went to get Dumbledore, and Ed went straight to get you..." His voice again wavered, and trailed off.  
  
"Sirius and Severus went for James." Ed ventured, after a long pause. "Sirius pulled him round and held him steady, and Sev..."  
  
"Knocked him out?"  
  
"Yes. I'm not proud of myself, it was a stupid reaction."  
  
"Well, if you aren't proud of you, I am!" I barked at him, with as much enthusiasm as my battered head would allow. "You floored him in one go, didn't you?"  
  
They both nodded, looking a little confused.  
  
"Well for God's sake, that's more sense than I had to do! If I'd walloped him one, perhaps I'd not be seeing double now!"  
  
Ed laughed nervously, but gave a sincere smile. Severus just gave a shifty one, his guilt complex evidently kicking in.  
  
"But...When he hit me, he didn't just hit me with his fist, did he?"  
  
"No, he didn't. The yellow bastard was too afraid to rely on his own strength, so he used knuckle-dusters. I'll kill him when I see him, I really will, and I won't be using any bloody steel bracelet to help me!" The mention of James's dirty tactics obviously riling him.  
  
"Sev, calm down. He's not worth any more effort." Ed warned, and Severus' grip on my hand tightened as his facial expression loosened. Well, well! The Marauders turning on their leader! I lay back and relaxed, my mind now a little more at ease, and a little less sore. I smiled at the thought of Sirius and Remus seeing through Lily's lies, and at Ed caring enough to avoid the obvious choice of going for James and coming straight for me, and perhaps most of all, Severus downing James in one fell swoop. I drifted back into a dreamless sleep. 


	41. Purple Tea

Thank you for all your lovely reviews, guys, they really make my day!  
  
Just to clarify, for those who are not familiar with the term "knuckle- dusters", they are like a rod of metal, about 3-4 inches long, and they have four holes in the bottom of them. Your fingers go through the four holes, and anyone who crosses you while you are wearing them can be made very sorry. Nasty things, they are, implements of dirty fighting.  
  
Disclaimer: See the one I did on the first chapter, if you really must. Standard stuff, but if you are interested, its all there for you.  
  
And an apology to Miss JK Rowling. Ma'am, I love your stories, and am completely addicted, but I have acted less than a loyal fan. I am sorry I have pummelled one of your characters (James) and I promise I wouldn't have done it unless strictly necessary. Please forgive me!  
  
  
  
Purple Tea  
  
  
  
The boys had to go off and get their photographs done, but Madam Pomfrey was stubbornly refusing to let me leave.  
  
"You'll go to the Graduation Ceremony, because there has never been one where a student didn't make it, but you'll not leave my sight before." She barked, like a regal little terrier.  
  
Suddenly, a thought struck me  
  
"Did you do any thing for James?"  
  
"What? The little vagabond that attacked you? Are you joking? I stopped the bleeding and sent him packing. I don't waste painkillers on those who don't deserve them." She responded, in a less than detached manner. If I had felt like moving my jaw I would have laughed at her, Pompous Poppy Pomfrey!  
  
"Won't you get into trouble for that?"  
  
"NO, I should think not. The headmaster came as soon as young Remus went to get him, and he gave Potter the telling off of his life. Once the headmaster finished, Potter came back for me to see to him, and asked for me to give him something to dull the pain, whilst trying to get your friend...Snape?"  
  
"Yes, the one that punched him."  
  
"Yes, well, he tried to get him into hot water as well, but the headmaster told him if he knew what was good for him he'd go back to his room, and wait for his decision. I should think so too! Who in the world would have thought a Potter would have made such a display? Hitting a young lady, that is never accep..."  
  
"His decision?"  
  
She looked up at me, with concern and matter-of-factness painted all over her face.  
  
"Calm down, dear, you'll do yourself a mischief! Professor Dumbledore is thinking about withdrawing James from the graduation, but that's all."  
  
I opened my weary eyes to their full extent, and immediately shot up.  
  
"What? He's not going to let him graduate?"  
  
Madam Pomfrey rushed over and tried to force me back down onto the pillows.  
  
"He's not decided, yet, Miss Montague, and anyway, I thought you'd be pleased!"  
  
Pleased? I was furious! Just because he'd had some manic outburst, that shouldn't affect whether or not he graduated. It just wouldn't have been right to let that happen to him; he may not have been of good manners, but I'd be damned if I wasn't. Much against the will of one very flustered school nurse, I made my way as fast as I could to Professor Dumbledore's office. It took me a while to get there; my head, thumping like a possessed drum, did not feel like giving accurate directions.  
  
I staggered around like a nomad with nowhere to go, until I finally reached the gargoyle. No password, and I wasn't about to hammer my severely uncoordinated hands on a stone statue. I just stood and stared at it, and backed off to the opposing wall. Getting up and running had not been such a good idea after all, My head was in a state of permanent blood-rush, and I had to throw all my weight into the wall to stay upright. I cannot remember much from then, I think I slumped down into a heap on the floor, and remained there until I was awoken by the strong smell of Herbal tea.  
  
  
  
"Ah, you are back with us, Miss Bolovnik." Dumbledore smiled. He poured himself a cup of tea, which seemed to be tinted purple. "Drink?" He asked politely.  
  
"Nuh..." I muttered rather hazily. What ever it was, it looked like it would have finished me off there and then.  
  
"Now, I take it I did not find you outside my office for no reason?"  
  
I looked around, and sure enough, I was in his office, in a big fluffy armchair near the fire, and with a fresh bandage on my head. How and when I got there, I have no recollection of, but all I know is I was there, and I was determined to talk to him. The small problem of having very, very little control over my voice did not deter me.  
  
"S-sir? Madam Po...Pomfrey told me you were...weren't going to let Pot...Potter gr-r-raduate?"  
  
His calm and friendly face shifted to that of stern fairness. His polite demeanour remained, but there was a detectable change in the air.  
  
"Yes. I was pondering whether or not he deserved to 'come of age' officially when he showed such immaturity and carelessness towards you. I think I have made my decision." He looked hard at me for a moment, then began absent-mindedly stirring his tea.  
  
"Let him, sir. H-he did no worse than...than I did to Malfoy. If he doesn't, doesn't deserve to gr-raduate, then...well, then neither do I." I tried as best as I could to return the hard look, but it hurt to move my eyes and eyebrows a bit too much, and it just came out as an off-centre squint.  
  
"I do not agree, Miss Montague. You were provoked directly, and you are now remorseful for your actions. Mr Potter had no reason except a flimsy lie and a long-held grudge to go on, and he very nearly got himself expelled on the spot." he peered deeply at me over the rims of his glasses, as if searching my mind.  
  
"NO!" I barked, with a little more volume and lack of respect than was meant. "No...I'm sorry, but I should h-have held back...and so should he. He deserves to grrraduate." My own defiance of Dumbledore startled me a bit, but it would have played on my conscience for the rest of my life if I had not intervened.  
  
"Very well, Miss Montage, but you have not changed my mind." He said in a harsh tone, and then smiled. "Would you like to here what my decision was? I have not yet told you."  
  
I looked at him curiously, and wondered if that tea was getting to him.  
  
"I decided that, because I told Poppy not to tell you about what I was thinking of doing, you would be up to see me soon. I decided that, as you were the victim of James's behaviour, that you should decide what should be done." He chuckled, and downed the last of his tea. "You know, this really is the most interesting tea I have ever had. It's from Mexico, you know."  
  
I nodded vaguely, and looked on at him in puzzlement. He really did seem to be as mad as a hatter sometimes.  
  
"What i-if I hadn't come...If Pomfrey hadn't said..."  
  
"I have known Poppy Pomfrey for many, many years, and I know that she knows me just as well as I know her. She knew I wanted you to know about my plans. Between you and me, she's a gossip anyway. I doubt very much she wouldn't have told you. Even if you hadn't come to me, I would have come to you, though. The decision rested with you, regardless." He stood up, and put his teacup away. I tried to follow suit, but I fell rather uneasily back into the chair.  
  
"Now, I want you to stay here for a while. there's another two hours to the ceremony, and I think it best if you get some sleep. I will come and get you in plenty of time, and I have ensured that you are able to sit down for most of the proceedings. I will go and let Mr Potter know of his gracious reprieve, and of how much he owes you." And with that, he bustled out of the room, Fawkes in tow. 


	42. Moony and Padfoot

A/N: In answer to the few queries I've had, both e-mailed and in reviews, Rene is pronounced "Ren-ay". A more common spelling is Renee, but I'm abnormal! Glad to hear you are all enjoying this, I am nearly finished.  
  
I must warn, however, that after today, "No Angels" may not be updated for a while. I am having a problem with my computer, and it is off to be repaired tomorrow, and I don't know when I'll have it back. Hopefully tomorrow evening, but I can make no promises.  
  
  
  
Moony and Padfoot  
  
  
  
Dumbledore came and woke me about two hours later, which gave me another half an hour to get ready. I felt a considerable amount better, but my head was still pounding, and it looked a mess. He escorted me back to the common room, where Sirius and Remus were waiting outside.  
  
"Are you alright, Rene?" Remus asked, rushing towards us as we came around the corner. Sirius also came forward, though it looked as though the cat had got his tongue when his eyes shot up to the tremendous bruise and gash on my temple.  
  
"Miss Montague will be fine. She get ready for the Graduation ceremony, though, as I suspect you do." Dumbledore answered, happily but firmly. Sirius found his voice again.  
  
"We just wanted to see she was alright, Sir." He smiled nervously at the professor, and then at me. "We, uh...we don't know where he's gone, you see..."  
  
"I assure you, Mr Black, that James will not pull any more stunts like he did this morning." He turned to me "If he does, I am afraid I will have to overturn your decision, Miss Montague." Sirius and Remus looked puzzled.  
  
"Decision?" Remus asked.  
  
"Yes, I...I, umm..." I didn't really know how to put it, so Dumbledore spoke for me.  
  
"Miss Montague came to me from the hospital wing, because I was thinking of expelling James. It would have meant he would not have graduated. However, as she was the victim of his foolish outburst, it was her decision to make, and James should be very grateful to her." He finished with a nod, and walked off in the other direction, leaving a somewhat awkward pause.  
  
"Thank you, both of you." I said, finally breaking the deafening stillness.  
  
"Oh no, you don't need to thank us!" Remus said quickly "We just did what anyone would have done."  
  
"Yeah," Sirius continued. "We...yeah. No need." and smiled a little less nervously.  
  
"Well, I've got to go and get ready. I'll see you at the ceremony."  
  
"All right. And thanks for James. he doesn't deserve it, btu thanks for letting him off."  
  
"No need" I smiled, and I carried on into the common room. 


	43. Meet the Parents

A/N: I hope you all appreciate this! I got up at 7:30am to write it before the computer gets dismantled! As always, respect to the reviewers!  
  
Just a quick apology, this chapter finishes on an obnoxious cliff- hanger!!!!!  
  
  
  
Meet The Parents  
  
  
  
I put on my dress robes, and did what I could to shadow my injuries. I arrived back down in the common room in about 15 minutes, where Severus and Ed were waiting for me.  
  
"You feeling better?" Ed ventured  
  
"Not alot, but I'll live." I murmured. "How long is this thing going to last, do we know?"  
  
"Well, I'm not sure exactly, but the ceremony should all be over in about an hour, max. Our year has been very small compared to most others, thank god." Severus muttered. "Come on, let's get this over with."  
  
As left the common room, Severus went out in front of me, and Ed behind. All the way to the great hall, they didn't move from my sides, and anyone who dared look at me was given the nastiest glare from both of them. I must admit, though, Severus always did nasty better than Ed. It just wasn't really in his nature.  
  
When we arrived at the great hall, the place was teaming. There were smaller versions of the house tables at one end, next to a temporary platform/stage thing. Many apologies, but my memories of the day are not up to much; I was having enough trouble staying upright, let alone taking in all the decor. Where the house tables would usually be through the centre of the hall, there were lots more tables, but they were all round, and covered in purple tablecloths with gold and silver trimming. They were the places for the parents.  
  
I grimaced slightly at them, which was a bad idea because it hurt. I couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness that my father wasn't able to be there. I glanced around the hall, and saw many students mingling in with their parents, as the ceremony was not yet about to start. I spotted Lord and Lady Snape a mile off, aided by the sudden widening of Severus' eyes in what I think was horror. His family was as madcap as they come, really. His father was very tall, very pale and had what appeared to be blonde hair, but whenever it caught a certain light, it shone aquamarine. His mother didn't have pale skin, but jet black hair down past her waist. She was generally a very petite woman, except for a rather familiar crooked nose. They were talking to Ed's parents, who seemed normal enough. Ed's father worked for the ministry of magic, and he blended in fairly well, but his mother was a muggle, and she seemed quite petrified.  
  
Ed and Severus began walking quickly in the opposite direction, when a hooded figure approached us with some speed, yet discreetly. There were all manner of oddities there that day, so one person that bore more than a passing resemblance to a dementor in such a huge cloak was not out of the ordinary. As he came near, a waxy, pale hand shot out and grabbed my arm. He continued, with me in tow, towards the hall door. Severus and Ed spun quickly, and were about to run after me, but Dumbledore put his hands on their shoulders, though I am not sure whether or not in reassurance or restraint. The last thing I saw of them was their pale faces staring after me, and then the hooded figure closed the door behind itself. When it pulled down the hood, I was shocked beyond belief. 


	44. The Hooded Figure

A/N: I managed to persuade Dad not to dismantle the computer until later tonight, because I felt guilty about leaving you with that awful cliff- hanger! I'm sorry!  
  
Disclaimer: Same as before, but just a few things to clear up this chapter. Everything is JK Rowling's except:  
  
Count Pyietek Bolovnik,  
  
Lady Rene Bolovnik/Montague  
  
Orion and Margot Potter (Oh-rye-onn and Marr-go)  
  
Lord Sariso Snape and Lady Shauvonne Snape (Sarr-iz-oh and Sh-ow-von)  
  
But, lets face it. If Ms Rowling wants them, she can have them, because if it weren't for her, there would probably be no "No Angels"!!!  
  
Also, there has been confusion over how Sirius held James down for Severus. All will make sense in time my friends! Meanwhile, look back to "The Making of History – part 2" and see what was said about him there!  
  
  
  
The Hooded Figure  
  
  
  
If I had not still been quite out of my wits, I would have fought against the figure in the hall. I began to fight his grip on my arm, but was amazed to find I couldn't. I just was not strong enough to break his grip. I stopped wriggling, and looked up at his face, to find he had removed his hood, but it took me a few moments and the sound of his voice for me to recognise him. As ever, he spoke in rapid Romanian.  
  
"Rene! Calm down, girl! It's me!"  
  
"D-dad?"  
  
"Yes, It's me! My poor girl, what on earth happened to your head? I saw you come into the hall, and the first thing I notice is that you look like you've been attacked!" He loosened his grip, and put one of his hands to the gauze dressing and bruising on my head. I flinched at his touch; the gash had become more sensitive over the past two hours, and there was very little numbness left.  
  
"It's nothing, really...I just fell down some stairs." I knew the moment I had said it, it had been a really pathetic explanation to give to the most suspicious man on earth.  
  
"You...right, you fell down the stairs? You're anything but clumsy! You've been brought up as a lady, walking with books on your head to improve your posture! I don't believe you fell down any stairs! You were pushed weren't you?" His hands still stroked the offending temple soothingly. "Who did it?"  
  
"Dad, please...I really, well, I just slipped. The floor was wet, and I fell. I couldn't help it, I swea..."  
  
He was having none of it.  
  
"You can fly! You could have landed on your feet! For the sake of the Gods, child, tell me what happened!"  
  
"It was too crowded for me to try and right myself, and you know I can't fly well!"  
  
"Nonsense. Pure nonsense. Well, if you swear that's what happened, then I shall have the caretaker sacked for negligence! Any mortal child would have died hitting their head so hard!"  
  
"No, no Dad! It wasn't Filch's fault! It was my fault, I just..."  
  
"Pyietek! How good to see you!" A voice ripped from behind me. Father's grip released my arm completely, and his face changed into an open smile.  
  
"Albus!" He stepped forward and shook Dumbledore's hand, speaking well, but with occasional pauses to think of his next words. English always posed him problems. "I have not seen you in the flesh for many, many years. It has been too long, old friend."  
  
"Indeed. I take it that Rene was also in the dark about your visit?"  
  
"Yes, she was. I wanted it to be a suprise, but it seems it is I who has been suprised!" He said, with a downturn in his tone.  
  
"I take it you refer to Rene's head?" Dumbledore said, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Yes, I must..."  
  
"I've already told him, Dumbledore...About me falling down the stairs." I looked at him with pleading eyes, but, as always, Dumbledore believes in honesty.  
  
"Rene, I think you should tell him the truth." he said, peering over his half-moon spectacles.  
  
"So you didn't fall down the stairs!" Father replied, eyeing me suspiciously.  
  
"No, I didn't. I...I was hit."  
  
"Hit? But...even at...at...what is the word for the part of your head?"  
  
"Temple." Dumbledore offered.  
  
"Yes, even hit at your temple, no mortal could do that!"  
  
"He was wearing knuckle-dusters."  
  
He looked at me puzzled, and then I looked at Dumbledore.  
  
"Excuse me while I explain, Professor."  
  
"Go ahead, Rene." Dumbledore replied encouragingly. I spoke to father in Romanian to make it easier for him to understand.  
  
"They are usually a muggle device, but I don't know where Ja...this boy got them from. It's like a solid metal bar, and it has four holes on the bottom. You put your fingers through them, [I attempted to demonstrate, miming with my hands] and you just...punch."  
  
"A boy at this school did that to you? To *YOU*?" he demanded "Does he not know who you *are*?"  
  
"No, he doesn't." I resumed in English.  
  
"Even so, what kind of child is this? That strikes a lady with...with metal bars? Dumbledore, who did this? I *DEMAND* to know who hit my daughter!"  
  
"Dad, please! It doesn't matter, it was my fault!"  
  
"How? Was it the Servevos boy? It was, wasn't it! I'll *KILL* him!" he barked, fuming beyond anything I had seen before.  
  
"NO! DON'T YOU DARE!" I yelped, standing in front of him. "IT WASN'T HIM!"  
  
"Pyietek, please." Dumbledore reasoned, firmly, but in his usual kind tones. "Believe me, the boy has been punished, and I was going to expel him, but Rene showed compassion and asked for him to be allowed to stay and graduate."  
  
"Why?" He said, stopped in his tracks.  
  
"I didn't want him not to graduate. It wouldn't have been right, he didn't deserve it."  
  
"What he didn't deserve was to be let off so easily! He is the boy with pale skin and black hair to his...shoulders, no?"  
  
"No, Dad, I *told* you it wasn't him! And while we're on the subject, his name is Sev-er-us!"  
  
"Then who was it? Tell me or I will go and kill the pale one!"  
  
"You're going to kill no one! You lay a bloody finger on any one of the people in that hall and I'll never come back to Maramures, I'll never talk to you and I'll never admit I know you ever again!"  
  
"Don't you swear at me!"  
  
"I will if it's what I have to do to get through to you!"  
  
"Pyietek, listen to her. She is a very intelligent young lady, and she has Vada's spirit. Do you ever remember winning an argument with Vada?"  
  
His eyes rolled up into his head, as if searching for a memory.  
  
"No, but that is beside the point, Albus..."  
  
"It is very much the point, my friend. Rene has shown a great deal of kindness to James by forgiving him."  
  
"That I didn't say, Professor. I haven't forgiven him." I realised I had spoken with a tiny bit of defiance in my voice, but as ever, Dumbledore took the comment the way it was intended.  
  
"I know that, Rene. Not completely, but a little. If you really had forgiven James, then you would have done what your father is now threatening to do." he smiled warmly, and continued in a new breath and tone. "Pyietek, I would be *eternally* grateful if you refrained from killing any of my students, though I understand that your reasons are just. Rene is the one who should be angry, but she has found it in her able heart and mind to let this incident pass. The boy in question owes her a great deal for letting him graduate, and indeed, he always will. She has done the most sensible thing she could have done in the circumstances, and I hope you will do the same."  
  
Father sighed heavily, and turned to me.  
  
"All right. I will touch no one...but not out of sympathy for the boy! It is only the fear of losing my daughter that will keep my fists at my side." He smiled at me, and then the three of us began back to the hall. He began to put his hood back up just before I opened the door, but then he turned again to Dumbledore.  
  
"You have my word, friend, that I will do nothing to harm the little monster, but I must know. Was it the S...Severus boy?"  
  
"No, indeed, no. Severus and Rene are the best of friends again, and Severus and 3 other boys came to Rene's aid. The boy who hit Rene is called James Potter, and it was Severus who in turn knocked him unconscious for hitting Rene."  
  
"Really? I would never have expected that of a Potter. Is he Orion and Margot's son?" Dumbledore nodded. "Well, well. And the Severus boy really knocked him out?" Father replied, his eyes widening and a smile forming, just before his hood hid his face. "You must introduce these four boys. What are their names?"  
  
"Severus Snape, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and... Edward Camerson." It sounded funny for me to call him by his full name. I thought it best that I not go into any further detail than that with Ed, but Dumbledore seemed to be in a mood for teasing.  
  
"Yes, yes," he pondered, a cheeky smile adorning his lips. "Mr Camerson is a good friend of Rene's also." and with that, he re-entered the hall, chuckling to himself.  
  
"What did he mean?" Dad asked, genuinely confused.  
  
"Nothing, nothing at all!...Come on, or We'll miss the start!" And I hurried back into the hall and up to join Severus and Ed, anxious to escape any further questions. They had just finished talking to Lord and Lady Snape (Sariso and Shauvonne) Ed greeted me with a kiss on the cheek, which I was less than grateful under the circumstances, but the hooded figure only paused for a moment, and then resumed his seat. I looked at Ed and laughed.  
  
"You are one lucky little bugger, Ed!"  
  
They both raised eyebrows at me, but I just smiled back.  
  
"It's my Dad, and I'd watch out if I were you!" I joked, but he took it seriously. He was nervous for the rest of the day! 


	45. The End of an Era

A/N: Guys, they didn't need the computer for as long as I thought, and I now have it back! YAY! I was an inch from having a nervous breakdown without it, because I kept getting all these ideas for the story, and I have yet again changed my plans. There will be four sequels, because the bit I was going to add onto the end of this just wasn't going to fit in at all. Hope you like this; it is the last chapter. Many thanks to all who have reviewed, and I hope to get the first sequel up as soon as I can think of a title.  
  
I have noticed that a few of you are suggesting a Rene/Severus romance. Who says they'll live long enough!?!  
  
  
  
The End of an Era  
  
  
  
We chatted for a while, and then took our places on the platform, all formally attired and with very mixed feelings. I remember not knowing what to think, because I had had a lot of ups and downs at Hogwarts. I couldn't decide whether or not it was a good thing that I was leaving all the intolerence, animosity and throwing people at walls behind me, or whether it was a bad thing because I was going back to Romania, leaving Ed and Severus behind, to be taught how to run Maramures. I must say that neither of these prospects enthralled me, but what else could I do? I must have been deep into this battle of opinions, because it took an elbowing from both sides to go forward and have my photo taken.  
  
When we were done, there was a large feast with everything and sauce, and then we again got to go and talk to the parents. My Dad was talking animatedly with Dumbledore, so I just sat where I was until I was yanked up by Ed.  
  
"Come on, you can't just sit there and look miserable!"  
  
"I was actually just trying to sit there and stay concious."  
  
"Your head still playing up?" He smiled sympathetically.  
  
"A little bit, not much. All I need is some cheering up, really, to take my mind of the ache."  
  
"Not a problem!" He yelped happily. "Have you seen Potter yet?"  
  
"Ed, please, I said cheering up. But no, I haven't seen him yet."  
  
At that moment, Severus came over, looking rather fed up. As it turned out, his parents were *very* proud of him and insisted on telling everyone so, while he was with them. He was mortally embarrassed, of course, but there again, everyone else's parents were doing it to them.  
  
"You feeling OK?" He asked me, sounding generally concerned.  
  
"Yeah, fine, until Ed mentioned James." And I shot a semi-sour glare at Ed. Severus began to laugh, and so did Ed. It took three death threats before they managed to pull themselves together enough to let me in on the joke.  
  
"See, see over there?" Ed pointed across the room. "Those two snobs are Orion and Margot Potter. See them?"  
  
"Yes, Ed." I sighed.  
  
"Now wait..." Severus continued "Look until they move apart so you can see..."  
  
And a moment later, Orion and Margot parted, leaving my view-path to James clear, and what a sight he was. His nose was dressed in gauze, and in places it was stained with blood. Both his eyes were ebony black, and the left side of his face was raised in one big purple bruise.  
  
"Not all my handiwork, mind," Severus mused, matter-of-factly "I only broke his nose. The blurry-purple bruise is where he hit the floor. I must say, it does suit him, don't you think?"  
  
I just smiled. It was nice to know that I had two good friends to rely upon like that. I couldn't help but stare in disbelief at James for a few minutes, until he looked up and caught my eye. He gave me a steaming glare, but he soon decided to drop it when Ed and Severus stepped forward on either side of me, and returned the look.  
  
"Thanks guys."  
  
"Why don't you tell your Dad what he did? That'll do him the world of good."  
  
"Dumbledore already made me tell him, and he was all for snapping his neck in two. He actually thought it was you, at first." I replied, looking to Severus. His face lost all colour.  
  
"But you did...correct him, didn't you?"  
  
"Yes, of course I did. He wants to talk to you two, Black and Lupin at some point. Don't worry about him, he's not going to hurt anyone. He never has...well, rarely has."  
  
They stared rather dumbstruck, and Ed lost his colour too. They both headed for the drinks counter, eager to escape being introduced, I expect. I leant against the wall and looked around; this hadn't gone half as bad as I had expected it to, but as I looked around the room, someone caught my eye. Someone who hadn't even crossed my mind.  
  
I stared at her. Everything about her was lacking. Her usually bouncy auburn hair seemed flat and lifeless, her sharp green eyes seemed blunt. There was no smile adorning her lips, just a tolerant grimace. She was staring mostly at her feet, and shuffling a few inches only to let someone pass. My heart jumped to my throat, as I recalled some of the things we had said to her. It was true, she had come waving a white flag, and all we had done was thrown it back in her face, covered in blood. What if we hadn't been so stubborn? What if we had agreed to forgive and forget? Granted, she had not gone about her apology in the best possible way, but it was a hard thing to have to do. I pulled myself out of my spaceward stare, and began to walk over. Dumbledore had begun his closing speech a few minutes before, so no one saw me, or so I thought.  
  
"Ren, what are you doing?" Severus whispered venomously  
  
"I don't want it to end like this. You can let it, but I'm not going to."  
  
I began towards her again, and her eyes flickered up for a moment and caught mine. She smiled weakly, and I returned it. I picked up my pace a little, only to feel a clamp like grip catch both my arms and spin me around.  
  
"Rene, no. Do you have any self-respect? She owes us a damn sight more than that feeble apology, but if you are willing to back down and accept that, then march right over to her..." He looked at me with eyes as cold as ice, and as deep as an ocean. "I won't stop you, but you walk over to her, just remember, you're leaving me and Ed behind you."  
  
I pulled my arms out of his hands, amazed I had let him keep a hold of them for so long. I looked at him, and then around at Lily, but she was gone. Dumbledore had finished his speech, and everyone was applauding loudly, and beginning to leave to go home. I closed my eyes for a moment, and bit my lip, thinking I had missed a chance that I would have to wait a long time to be given again. Little did I know that it was a chance I would never be given again, and there is a part of me that curses Severus every day for holding me back, curses me for not pulling away sooner, and curses Lily for not staying where she was. If I only learnt one thing at Hogwarts, then it was Carpe diem.  
  
  
  
*fabula est finis*  
  
  
  
A/N: Let me know what you thought Guys! 


End file.
